Jagdeo the Maverick

Apparently the only acceptable criticism of this government is self criticism. On Friday, Time Magazine’s Caped “Hero of the Environment”, having flown back into town, discovered like a “Jagdeo come lately” that the Demerara Harbour Bridge is run by near criminals.

(Everyone who uses it, knows that. These near criminals like to halt all traffic at rush hour just so a certain contractor can drive a single hymac over it. Actually it’s the huge sand trucks that are breaking it up. Arrest the drivers and arrest the bridge staff down to the cashiers, that’s what we say).

“Nearly criminal” is of course relative and we’re not sure how the bridge’s mismanagement ranks compared to: 1) granting illegal sweetheart tax holidays to your friends. 2) giving away state land to anonymous investors. 3) not yet providing street lights promised to the grieving residents of Lusignan. 4) or having your former Home Affairs Minister regularly talk with a known killer.

Then on Monday we read El Presidente finds the blackouts the rest of us have been suffering silently through for the past month or so, “unacceptable”. Nearly criminal might actually be appropriate here.

It appears Jagdeo is now the John McCain of Guyanese politics, running against his own party’s administration, the whacky outspoken maverick, who does “not care what people think”, railing against the incompetence of the very ministers and bureaucrats he appointed.

If this is some ploy to appear as if he feels the hardships of the common man, he could spare us the empathy and just get the problems fixed. Sixteen years after the “Democratic Revolution of 1992” (seriously that’s what it’s called) it’s a little tough to blame the decrepit state of the bridge and power grid on the PNC although the Chronic can always comfort us by referring to how much worse these once were.

So it’s clear the media is now no longer needed. President Rip van Winkle will awake each morning and point out all that is wrong with his government and be even more offended than the people.

We’re not sure what happened to him on his various overseas junkets/sales trip to hock the nation’s rainforests. (With no takers we suggest he has no other course but to put all 40 million acres of rainforest on Ebay.) Perhaps just staying in a country where things actually work and people don’t praise the government for doing what they are expected, has made him realize his ministers’ utter balls-up.

Probably the biggest of these being the Skeldon sugar factory. Getting the Chinese to build this vital piece of infrastructure was a genius stroke. As anyone who has bought anything from that Communist/Capitalist Dictatorship, in the last twenty years, the Chinese have managed the incredible technical feat of making metal as strong as plastic, giving plastic the consistency of cardboard; and even transformed cardboard into dim sum.
In fact the shocking truth is not out yet: the Skeldon sugar factory is completely constructed out of Lego blocks!

(This did not stop the Stabroek News from proclaiming the recent test of the machinery a success. Who needs the Chronic when the independent media is so uncritically gushing?)

But never mind if the Skeldon fiasco contributes to lower exports of sugar, because there is a new product that could – if made popular enough -  be a big money earner for this country.

Our Canadian wildlife correspondent reports there is a company that is selling Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches also called Dubia Roaches (Blaptica dubia).

According to the website, “Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches are popular mid sized feeder roaches with just too many names. Called either Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches or just plain Orange Spotted Roaches and most often called Dubia Roaches, this is a non climbing excellent feeder roach that is easy to care for and easy to breed. Not as shy and slower moving than some of the other mid sized feeder roaches. Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches are smaller than Discoid Roaches but larger than Lobster Roaches. Sexes of adults are easy to tell apart at a glance as the adult females have only small wing stubs while the adult males have full wings.

Buy Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches to be shipped directly to you by USPS Priority Mail. Buy Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches. Order Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches: $32.00 per 25; $45.00 per 50
$75.00 per 100: Mixed Sizes Including Adults Shipped.
Price Includes Shipping
New York Worms, Long Island, NY”
What is most disturbing is there are people out there who actually collect roaches. It’s nearly criminal.