Lament for Campbellville

Dear Editor,
Come Saturday, November 8, residents living in the vicinity of the fish shop in Drury Lane will be plummeted, bludgeoned and bombarded into dead meat, further degraded from their present vegetable state – a state in which they have found themselves for three long, excruciating years. (Yes, the dogs in the area will become dead meat also, and the alarms of vehicles will go off non-stop.)

Come Saturday, November 8, they (the operators of the fish shop and by extension the elderly landlady) are planning a birthnight party to end all parties. They have announced their intention ominously and in various ways. Starting Saturday, October 25, they have maintained a regular bombardment from Sunday karaoke to Monday pre-Diwali desecration, to a Diwali night orgy to a post-Diwali pump-up to a happy hour on Thursday to a Halloween orgy − and the beat goes on and on in my head long after the music stops….

They have announced their intention concretely by concreting the reserve (city council or government?). They have cleared the façade of the fish shop and dumped the garbage in the alleyway, also killing the nearby canals by the wanton dumping of cooking residue. They have erected ‘permanent’ tents on the reserve (city council or government?). They have commandeered the reserve from Austin Street to Delph Street and from Drury Lane to the Cummings Canal for a parking lot/urinal, filling the dam with a particular type of material used by certain authorities (city council or government, can’t spare the time to find out, trying to catch some sleep, mekin’ day into night). Scores of vehicles are over-spilling the area – wow, you should see some of the registration plates and identity tags!

They are planning to decimate the residents of Campbellville with this lawlessness, a lawlessness permitted by all the relevant authorities…ha…what’s a box of fish and a beer!

Down with this noise nuisance, or death to us, a people with no voice, a people with no right to peace and quiet and rest….
Complaining apart, the solution is to soundproof all such businesses in residential areas.
When Lord, when would You bring down this wall of crime, this nest of vipers…
Come, Saturday, come to the wake of an urban village (come to the wake and sing some folk songs)…
Yours faithfully,
(Name and address provided)