Were it not for the red carpet arrivals, which is the best appetizer you can ask for on Oscar night, the entire show would have been a drag.

It was an excessively long telecast largely filled with trips down memory lane given that Oscar turned 80. And we felt the pains of ageing- forgetting which trophy had been handed out every 15 minutes, which categories were called and already handed out and which were to come. Then it was falling asleep and waking up only to realise the show was not yet over. Sure Jon Stewart was Jon Stewart and he kept things alive with a string of wisecracks, but how much could he really have done.

Honestly, it was too much and from the reports that followed the telecast, it seemed we were not the only ones who thought so. This year’s television ratings were the lowest in recent times forcing the critics to ask whether the Oscars should go reality style on us. Kind of like American Idol and let the public pick the winners.

Just imagine, Julie Christie being honoured for her heart-breaking role in Away from her and stealing the thunder from France’s Marion Cotillard, who, though we have not seen the film, is said to have embodied her role to perfection in La Vie en Rose and pulled off an undeniably uncanny impersonation of French singer, Edith Piaf.

And we would have been raising our glasses to Cate Blanchett for her stunning portrayal of Bob Dylan in I’m Not There as opposed to Brit, Tilda Swinton for Michael Clayton. Come on the woman is simply untouchable. We would not go further as the outcomes in the other major categories likely would have been the same: Javier Bardem No Country for Old Men; Daniel Day-Lewis There Will be Blood and the Coen Brothers, Best Director for ‘No Country…’ and the Coens again in the Best Picture category.

But back to where we started. As irrelevant as it might seem to some people, fashion, well high fashion in this case, saved the night. High fashion and those quirky mini-interviews that are conducted on the red carpet — those interviews that bring out a weird side of the stars but often have them gushing about who they are wearing and who they did not bother to wear.

You could forget the cute little Miley Cyrus (the most popular teen in the US by a mile) who was barely recognisable save for the gorgeous red gown. Some particularly cruel make-up artist to the stars hijacked Miley’s adorable face and transformed an American darling into a budding porn star. Yep, it was just too much heavy, trashy make-up.

But to forget the to-die-for black gown on Jennifer Garner would be equivalent to forgetting who gave birth to you. ‘Is Ben Affleck lucky or what’, was the reaction of a television reporter though we could not help but notice that she is still glowing after more than a year after giving birth. And what a body! To correct the TV reporter, are some women lucky or what?

As for who else was gorgeous in red, the names Heidi Klum and Katherine Heigl rank right up there. Talk about women with knockout looks and self-confidence! It sure was one hot Oscar night on the red carpet and for that we were pretty pleased. Could you imagine though when Oscar turns 81, we might be force to tune out after the red carpet coverage. (thescene@stabroeknews.com)