So you think I’m exaggerating? Please. Get a life. This is being real. Real thing here in Guyana. I’m telling you – this is not fiction – the best date I ever had was a walk along an old country road eating an egg ball and slurping away on a “cool down”. It happened just the other day.
Pitiful life I’ve had? Ha! That’s what you think. I’ve had my share of the fancy places. What a waste of money! I won’t call names here – for fear of being sued – but some places here sell the nastiest gunk for food.
You’d assume that eating is the only thing we do on dates. Well, maybe you’re right. I mean, what’s a date without food? What really causes the problem is who pays for the food. It’s sad to say that even in this century, at this location, many women still expect the man to pay for everything.
Now, is it fair for a guy to pay – well we’re supposing that this guy actually has a decent paying job – your taxi fare, then buy you food, then pay for you to get in a club, then buy you drinks, then maybe pay for food again and then finally pay your taxi fare home? Heck, that’s probably the guy’s entire salary!
It is things like these which force me to believe that most of my fellow females are heartless. The poor guy probably walked from home to meet you just so he could save some money and he’ll probably be walking to work and skipping lunch for the rest of the month just to afford you. If he can still afford to buy himself anything after your date then it’s probably some plantain chips from a roadside vendor. Of course, that’s if he has $100 to spare.
I understand how hard it is to make money here and so I try to be an understanding date. I take turns paying for things. However, recently I’ve had a guy pay for everything. Twice! I feel so horrible about it. He’s bored me already so I’m not talking to him but I’m considering taking him out one night just to even things up.
What comes after food and money? Now when you’re dating both of these factors determine where you can go. Where do people go on dates here? Now, this is a question I haven’t been able to answer. I’m not on the dating scene much. But, according to my best friend, one of the hottest date spots for couples in love is the Georgetown zoo.
The zoo! Yes, you’ve read it right. These days there are always couples in that place. I guess they’re attracted to the spot because there are a lot of private “nooks and crannies” and of course the animals can’t tell anyone about what they see. So, I’m guessing you already know that the Botanical Garden takes the crown as the cheapest, sweetest must-go-to dating spot in this corner of South America!
Guys, this is definitely the way to impress the ladies without putting a dent in your pocket or eating plantain chips for the rest of the month. Think about it. You won’t have to worry about being robbed at the seawalls, you won’t have to worry about how much you’ll spend at which restaurant and buses run right outside the entrance!
So go. The fried chicken place is located just a few buildings up from the gardens. She won’t eat too much of that stuff because she’ll be worried about the calories. Then you guys can go for a nice long walk, you can show her which plants you have in your back yard, introduce her to the junkies – quite a local attraction these days.
And if you’re feeling extravagant you can pay just $200 to visit the exotic zoo! This is it. This is we. This is Guyana! (srh.midnight@gmail.com)
