Is it really cricket they’re playing?

I’m looking forward to the Tennis Roll Squad taking on the Souse 11. I have composed the headlines already: Lose: ‘Souse mauled by Tennis Rolls’; Win: ‘Tough Souse overwhelms Tennis Rolls’; or Draw: “Lousy Souse held by Stale Tennis Rolls’.

A match I’ll surely not attend is when the Gas Angels take on the Power Bomb. It sounds like it would be an explosive situation.

You think I’m going crazy?
No! A la Rohee it was a bright day, when, after gazing down on my fried rice just contemplating nothing at all, it was pointed out to me that Souse was taking part in the GT&T 10/10 Cricket competition. Love and Faith, I thought not knowing that that was a team too.

I examined the fixtures and there were ‘Disturbing the Peace’, ‘Desperado’, ‘Desperate Youth’, ‘Kill Squad’ and ‘Most Wanted’. I was beginning to think that there was serious stuff going on here. I got worried when I saw that the Cotton Field Wild Oats and Out for Justice are from the same area.

GT & T seems to have pulled everyone from everywhere even the MHS Wino who I take it (are) all bummed out and seem destined to meet RatHole 11 at some point in the competition. ‘Million Dollar by Morning’ sounded a tad optimistic as did Lucky XI. But who am I to say? I know though that I wouldn’t take a chance on Wrong Turn 11 and Da Hangovers seemed to be what happened after the Rum vs Smirnoff 11 match.

Some of the teams seemed to crying out for help. ‘Garden of Eden Victims’? Victims of what I wondered. ‘9/11 Survivors’… This seemed to be where the ‘77 Caring Crew’ was needed. But as I scanned further I saw that there were many ‘Time Off Nurses’ and even the ‘Medical Men’.  Maybe ‘The Intellectuals’ have the answer as it is unlikely that the ‘Dynamite Diva’ will do anything but blow up. No matter, I thought, the ‘Limacol Girls’ and the ‘Limacol Boys’ will be there.

I marvelled at the creativity of my fellow Guyanese in naming their teams. I would’ve given them a ‘Thumbs Up’, but that was the name of a team too.
Anyway, GT&T should be happy. The competition seems to be sanctioned by the church with the ‘Revelation’, ‘Ascension Warriors’, ‘Nazarene Lions’, ‘Kingdom Warriors’ and the ‘Chosen’ all taking part. But would there be divine retribution when the ‘Cotton Tree Cowboys’ take on ‘Warrior for Jesus’?
And if you’re not the religious type, there’s ‘Red Dragon’, the ‘Last Dam Hustler’ and the ‘Spontaneous Ladies’.

How do you know if it’s a green cricket team? When they name themselves after trees. I present ‘The Tamarind Tree Winners’ and the ‘Tambrind Root Cricket Club’.

On a more serious note, the names chosen also show that many do not know how to spell. ‘DearDivel’, ‘Ledgen Boys’, ‘Invadors’, ‘Scorpian’, ‘Lassers’, ‘Worrior’???? ‘Unthoughable’!

There are many underdogs who better watch out for the ‘OverDogz’.

Another game with seemingly deadly intentions is when ‘Pick Up 14’ takes on the ‘Undertakers’. Not Nice! But that’s a team too. As yet I do not know which team I will be supporting. There are lots and lots of conquerors, warriors and ce lebrities not to mention the ‘Rainbow Generation’.

I have decided however that next year I will be coming with a team. It will be the ‘Conquering Top Notch Wild Oats Real Not Gentle Warriors Out for Retribution hoping to get Souse and Cook-up Cricket Club’ from the Last Dam. (thescene@stabroeknews.com)