Journey to self

Lately I found myself telling people that I’m on a spiritual journey; some laugh and others want a deeper explanation. All I want is to share the good news.

Telling some people you’re on a spiritual journey is like saying, “I’ve got problems”, which is not what I meant to convey to anyone who has been privy to my little news. Hey, we all have problems but my journey simply means I’ve realized how important spiritual development is.

I worry a lot — an unproductive habit, I know — about my life and where is it going. I don’t actually look at people and wish I had their lives. I just look and think that maybe mine is not so great. This slightly pitiful state of mind sums up in some measure my moments of introspection.

But guess what? I realized that no matter how fabulous or pathetic things are in my life I’m never going to have the sort of fulfilment I am seeking without spiritual development. If only my religious elders could get a read of this knowing I penned it; they would be proud.

I’m not going to get into the fine points about what my faith is because it honestly isn’t important. I believe that irrespective of our beliefs, anyone of us can embark on a spiritual journey, and, like me, find out how amazing, eye-opening, a bit scary, fun and deeply satisfying it could be.

I could go on and go about my journey, which only started recently, because there is so much to tell, but I’m going to be considerate and only say that I continue to be amazed at how my perspective has changed about so many things, and about people.

I am particularly pleased about the impact it has had on my outlook and the optimism that I’ve found, and thankfully it has helped with my temper. It is not that everything has suddenly picked up in my life and the script is looking how I want it to look; I am just more thankful these days.

Don’t ask me about doubts and if I still have any; I do. And like any inquisitive individual with a searching mind I question certain aspects of my faith. I have to say that I have concerns too about religion and whether the voices in my community are too silent on issues of social justice.  Still, I consider all this part of my journey.

I remember the first time I turned up at an afternoon class and the discussion shifted to prayers. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it and concluded that it was one of those subjects I would stay quiet on. I was so wrong about that. These days I am openly praying and finding the courage to pray for others, even in public spaces.

What has been great about this journey is that I have come to realize how important fellowship is and I find myself longing to be part of a community of people who are as God-fearing as I am. And you know what the best part is; this journey is going to go on and on. (thescene@stabroeknews.com)