Valentine’s Day and all that jazz

So Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and young couples and maybe some older ones are thinking about what gifts they will exchange come next Tuesday.

I say ‘maybe’ older couples because I am thinking that whether or not a gift is bought it may not matter to the older couples, but no doubt those young lovers are waiting for the gifts and some may have purchased theirs long in advance.

But the funny (well not so funny) thing is while the ladies are anticipating their gifts and would have purchased theirs, guys are thinking about how to temporarily hightail it out of the relationship, to avoid the whole gift-giving.

Joke? I don’t think so even though I laughed when a friend of mine had this scenario as his Facebook status. But it got me thinking. And I recalled that in my younger days a boyfriend of mine did call it quits just before Valentine’s and then returned some time after. Now I can vaguely (maybe on purpose) remember what transpired and to be honest I cannot say for sure whether we had a genuine misunderstanding which warranted my then boyfriend’s move. But I am thinking maybe he just did not want to purchase a gift! No wonder the relationship just did not work out!

I was further convinced that this does happen when a friend indicated that she overheard some men talking about ‘picking a story’ with their partner around this time. Maybe they were just being funny as this has been the talk around for some time but what if they were actually serious.

I mean, their reason for this could be a genuine one: they have no money. Reeling from all the spending during the Christmas season the man might just not have money. So, afraid of being in the doghouse, he decides to create an argument and retreat, temporarily. Really? You might ask, and it does sound weird to me even now, coming to think about it. But some men might just be stingy and unimaginative.

On the other hand, it could be (and ladies you need to think about this also) that the man does not have one girlfriend and he can’t afford to purchase gifts for all of them, so he breaks up with some and buys a gift for just one. That is just me saying, but it is not impossible now it is?

Sentimental is how we females are described and maybe that is the reason so many of us look forward to a gift, dinner or what-have-you on the over-commercialised Valentine’s Day. But I would hate to think that any of us honestly feel that if none of these is forthcoming our boyfriends (I am using boyfriends because I would not even venture to think some of us feel that way about our husbands) don’t love us.

Maybe if we should consider the initial significance of the day so much emphasis would not be placed on it. The day is officially known as Saint Valentine’s Day and it honours one or more early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine. But the day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. It is now traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards.

Of course, there are guys who are really in love with their girlfriends/wives and who make every day Valentine’s Day. Some of us are lucky and blessed to have them in our lives. We get little gifts, cards and flowers just because. Romantic dinners – some prepared at home, some not – are frequent. Pampering, chocolates and all kinds of everything come when we least expect it and we reciprocate because that’s what love is all about.

So if he doesn’t dent his wallet for Valentine’s Day, but he’s a good all-rounder who isn’t bowled out on that day either, he’s definitely a keeper. (thescene@stabroeknews.com)