Lighter Sides to the Campaigns

by Taurus – The Heckler

This was written five hours before Tuesday’s Nomination Day activities began.

Like last time (2011), Taurus and his comrade-friends collected their jerseys each from four political parties with their symbols and messages emblazoned on those tops boldly. Taurus and his friends – very short of clothes normally – will wear them at appropriate times, at respective Party meetings and rallies. (But why is Taurus recalling the proverb: “when yuh try for ride two asses, yuh usually end up on yuh own!”)

The LGBT community really let Taurus down. They did not present a List on Nomination Day. It is to be supposed that that emerging constituency does not want a Party of their own. As normal as they consider themselves to be, they will be embedded in other established political groupings. LGBT’s constantly coalesce with the righteous, declaring that polling must be significant, must be lasting.

Commentators point to the Americans’ finest tradition at end of polling when the main loser calls the winning Presidential Candidate to concede victory to the President–elect.

They just congratulated Nigeria’s loser Goodluck Jonathan – what an African name! – for graciously conceding, very early, to winner, former dictator, now new Nigerian President Buhari.

Taurus now begins the opening paragraph being prepared by PRESIDENT RAMOTAR for when he calls Mr. Granger:

“Hello, Hello Brigadier. Hello David. Donald here man. President Ramotar – well former Commander-in-Chief Ramotar. I won’t pretend to be PLEASED to be calling you. In fact we’re calling for a RECOUNT in seven Polling Districts.

However, since it seems that even a recount, won’t impact or affect the final results, I want to say now to you that if you’ve won, there will be every possibility of a No Confidence vote at the second sitting of any possible Parliament —- shucks, shucks, this blackout affecting this phone, this call? Hello…”   and these are opening words from Granger to Ramotar.

“Hello President Ramotar. Retired Brigadier Granger here. Well the count is far from final but we of APNU+AFC and others are surprised. My former squaddies, junior officers and ranks are all surprised too. Look Donald this thing isn’t over. Furthermore I’ll be calling you back, after consulting my troops. I will, will…”

WHAT THE HECK!? The Internet Blogger showed a photograph – is it genuine? – a photo of former FIRST LADY(?) Varshnie at the PPP Kitty Rally. For real? If true just who did Varshnie go to listen to? Deolatchmee?

The Blogger then reprinted Varsh’s long, long January 2009 letter which outlined the long-term traumatic treatment from the Presidential Hubby. Then the Blogger explained some “Stockholm Syndrome” which has abused persons still clinging to some bond with their tormentors.  Huh?

REST OF CRICKET SCORE-CARD
– PPP/C BATTING FIRST:

B. Jagdeo              Clean bowled Granger                          69
A Selman              Run Out C. Hughes                               01
L. Ramsammy      L.B.W. (Long Been Wrong)               00
R. Benn                  Run Out (Harmon)                              00
G. Teixeira             Caught in the Slips                               11
J. Webster              Retired Stumped Roopnaraine         13
B. Ramsaran            Bowled K. Ramjattan                      13
TOTAL (All Out)                                                                107
Umpires:  M. Harper, R. Corbin
(Third Umpire:  I. Chang)

Heard on Nomination Day: “De PPP talking ‘bout APNU and Granger MILITARISED? Well who CRIMINALISED?”
STAY SAFE, VOTE WISE.