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Carpet thief tells court: ‘I is a shoplifter’

“Oh God, I guilty, I guilty, I is a shoplifter,” Damion James cried out as he entered the courtroom last Friday at the Georgetown Magistrate’s Court.

James, 43, of 141 Cooper Street, Albouys-town pleaded guilty to stealing three carpets on September 26 from a Regent Street store when the larceny charge was read to him by Acting Chief Magistrate Melissa Robertson.

James was accused of stealing three carpets valued $9,000 from a store on Regent Street and fleeing the area.
After wiping away tears, James said, “Look your worship I is a shoplifter and when I done doing it I does go an smoke drugs and I get a bundle a hungry children that I does give lil something fuh eat.”

When asked by the magistrate why he did not get a job he said, “When I go fuh do wuk dey tell me that they ain’t want no Rasta and when I did wukin some people looking like priest thief de people things and I get lock up fuh it.”

James stated that on the day in question he was walking on Regent Street when he decided to steal the carpets. He said that he picked them up and ran into a man’s yard and informed the owner that he had just stolen a few items and needed a place to hide. He said the police were chasing after him and when they caught him later that day “deh beat me and bruck up all me teeth. Look at my plates my Worship,” James said, as he exhibited two broken pieces of dentures in his hands.

When asked why he shoplifts, James said, “I tell you I is a shoplifter. I does live by me granny and she ain’t got anything fuh give me so I do what I gaffa do. But I don’t stick up nobody with knife and thing like that.”

Magistrate Robertson then ordered him to pay a fine of $25,000. As James was escorted out of the court by a police officer he shouted, “Ow I can’t mek duh, gimme something smaller.”

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15 Responses to “Carpet thief tells court: ‘I is a shoplifter’”

tiger
on October 7th, 2008 3:34 pm

VERY FUNNY STORY, CANT STOP LAUGHING

[Reply to this]
unfortunate
on October 7th, 2008 6:06 pm

that’s just sad

[Reply to this]
Davi,V George.
on October 7th, 2008 11:32 pm

A shoplifter stealing carpet?Tough kind of shoplifting here

[Reply to this]
Ricardo
on October 8th, 2008 8:17 am

The Comedy shows in the court getting bigger and better!!!! I could only laugh at this nothing else to do. But the guy needs serious help

[Reply to this]
decanadianCarlVeecock
on October 8th, 2008 11:15 am

Yes indeed…quite funny, but de guy is honest.

Now “As James was escorted out of the court by a police officer he shouted,
“Ow I can’t mek duh, gimme something smaller”

Yea man.. give he sumting smaller.

If I know whey he ah stay ah wuld snd de 15 dollars fuh he.

Now for comedy time by the drama group. Nuff nuff fun.

[Reply to this]
guyana bwoy
on October 9th, 2008 6:10 am

CARL, if you serious about helping the man, you can easily locate he through this same newspaper. From reading your blogs, you sound like a smart man and not like some who like fo mek demself look big. However, if you sending any money at all, is not 15. You gat fo dig lil deeper and send around 130 cdn. leh mi know how you mek out.

[Reply to this]
decanadianCarlVeecock
In reply to the above comment on October 9th, 2008 3:57 pm:
guyana bwoy… Man you right!

Is whey meh maths gone?

I could afford the 130Cdn.

I send money for all types of causes even though ah does get vex wid dem later.

Thanks for the ’smart’ word, but you won’t believe this!

At a party I met someone who knows me and greeted me with:

” man you so busy on the net that I always read what you post.
Sometimes I don’t bother with the other posts cause it’s you own I like”.

Like I will have to apply to SN for a correspondent job !

[Reply to this]
Desi
In reply to the above comment on October 10th, 2008 12:44 pm:
Plus he gwine smoke out de money. Keep yuh change, man.
bbuckman
on October 9th, 2008 7:46 am

laugh til me belly bus!!!

[Reply to this]
Amarie
on October 9th, 2008 12:52 pm

LOL!!! I can’t stop laughing….If this was a video it would have gone viral by now… This dude has a career in comedy… Free him to pursue it.

[Reply to this]
ICON
on October 9th, 2008 5:53 pm

This story is not funny. This individual should be in a drug treatment program instead of in jail. The reason why he steals is to support his drug habit. Prison would not help.

[Reply to this]
Ulric
on October 11th, 2008 11:29 am

At least he did not lie like a rug.

[Reply to this]
berry
on October 11th, 2008 7:52 pm

this sounds like a once upon a time story had me laughing so loud, this man is something else

[Reply to this]
john brown
on October 12th, 2008 9:14 am

this newspapers don’t publish my comments. i know why too. remember your day will come again and i will be around to remind you when the whining starts. remember that !!!!!!!!!!

[Reply to this]
SandHurst First
on October 12th, 2008 10:43 am

The magistrate shoulda sey i is de jail sender

[Reply to this]