Jim Lampley: Welcome back viewers to what must be the longest delay to a championship bout I can recall. We have been at the top floor of Buddy’s Pool Hall – the one he built without the council’s permission – for over two hours waiting for the appearance of Bharrat “Ball Buster” Jagdeo.
The challenger David “The Dinosaur” de Caires is now on his sixth scotch and water but if Jagdeo thinks it will slow him down he is mistaken. David only gets more erudite. In fact he has made himself at home, bringing a table into the ring and along with his secretary they are working on a stack of letters. Uh, oh there goes one straight into the garbage without even a glance – must be from Freddie. This one he’s reading but seems to be falling asleep. It must be from Hackett.
His trainer Anna Benjamin is putting the finishing touches to a scathing editorial on post colonial shopping mall architecture.
George: But where is Ball Buster? Even when I waited for Ali in Zaire it did not take this long.
Larry: There are rumours he could not make up his mind what to wear.
Jim: Oh hold on I am hearing some commotion. Here comes Clement “the Rap Man” Rohee apparently serenading Ball Buster. Let’s listen in:
Rohee: You know I know
Jagdeo aint no bourgeois ho
He dress how he want to
Not how Stay Broke say he should do
He’ll inspect soldiers in blue jeans
Wear speedos to meet the Queen
Hang with Castro in a burkha
Wear a t shirt to kiss Angela Merka
The Unity Kid does his own thing
Damn! He don’t even wear no wedding ring
Jim: Very interesting lyrics, from the Minister of Rapping Affairs. Ah hold on here is Jagdeo himself, preceded of course by his bodyguards holding a velvet cushion on which rest the presidential cojones
They are making their way through the crowd. Meanwhile de Caires is calmly dictating a final letter and finishing off his scotch and water. Benjamin is giving him a final rub down with a secret Scottish liniment while translating this morning’s edition of de Ware Tijd.
I can feel the tension building. Here comes Jagdeo! But what is he wearing? A long black cape, his hair is slicked down and his teeth
