An interesting discussion arose recently in a little academic circle at the University of Guyana of which we got word and could not resist bringing up.
Is a touch just a touch in male-female relations or does it means more?
Generally speaking a touch is a touch, and most of us like the feel of it or rather we like being touched. The individual out there who would dispute this is likely some icy, unromantic being that was not caressed enough as a child.
Babies have all the luck because in addition to the constant feel of their parents, they are stroked by dozens and dozens of friends, family members and admirers.
When a man touches a woman, whether their relationship is intimate or platonic, is he simply touching for her pleasure or is it a matter of power?
On the whole men do more touching and most times it is non-reciprocal, which indicates to some extent that it is not just a matter of being friendly and romantic but a matter of power.
A man would approach a woman he knows and throw his arms around her or grab onto her arms and keep a grip on her for a short while before releasing her. Why? Women do not walk up to men and do the same thing with the same frequency.
It is fair to say that men initiate touch and whether they want to admit it or not, they do more touching than women do. Again, why?
Because a woman apparently sends silent signals that a man automatically picks up.
Feminists have advanced arguments over the years that label the male touch as conveying power and not affection.
Some say that men assume a higher role than women owing to their patriarchal conditioning and would use the non-reciprocal touch as an avenue to assert their dominance.
The fact that many women rarely return a touch from a friend or a stranger who might pass and touch them indicates that male power is allowed to thrive, for men use the touch to keep women in their place, according to feminists.
The question is whether women should begin to analyze every touch they get from males and perhaps return every touch for the fear of being seen as the dominated sex. Imagine how many persons would be walking the streets with obvious looks of pleasure on their faces complete with broad smiles.
And nothing is wrong with touching being contagious, as long as we do not descend into the pit of inappropriate touching.
Then we would not have smiley faces all over the country but instead, more cases of sexual abuse than the courts could hear in another decade.
On a much lighter note, local singer Shelly G reminded us some time back that touching could be as exciting as we want it to be.
Her debut song and the one that she is most recognized today for, Touch me is in the plainest terms, a celebration of the male touch. She glorifies it actually and is touched so often in the video that she could be the most pleased woman in all of Guyana.
Shelly G like many of us really does not have time to examine the touches we get to see whether the man was asserting his power status.
We just want to be touched and the truth be told, some of us barely get a stroke here and there
. (thescene@stabroeknews.com)
