Okay, I’m aware that those behaviours are a reflection of society’s steady plunge into a moral abyss of ignorance, disrespect and grossness. But I dwell on one element of our collective moral decline – the demise of fatherhood – in the hope that I may still touch the chords of conscience of “society” and our relevant “authorities”.
Since I’m wary of venturing into officialdom’s Human Services Ministry I went into the offices earlier this week, of the NGO – Guyana Responsible Parenthood Association (GRPA). Mainly because when it was “the Family Planning Association,” I knew some of the senior ladies there and I tended to take their efforts seriously. I still try to take the “Responsible Parenthood” portion of today’s association seriously, but alas, I was not too surprised by what I found. Or didn’t find there.
You see, innocently and expectantly, I enquired whether the GRPA had any reference material on Parenting, with specific emphasis on fatherhood or the role of fathers. I was to be very disappointed. The senior official on duty knew of no information available except one poster on a door announcing that “Fathers are parents too”. So my immediate respectful recommendation is that the GRPA – and other like-minded organization should acquire material on the role and responsibilities of fathers and fatherhood.
Why? Because this modern-day phenomenon of the short-term, absentee father is a primary cause of the break-down of the family unit as we once knew it; the disintegration of true, full-fledged parenting and, ultimately, the short-changing of young lives in broken homes and the resultant causes of social degradation of communities and society as a whole.
Fathers-and sperm-donors
Grand-parents and parents in the better old days produced good fathers and mothers by pure example. The school, the church supplemented family-life, no matter how humble and great moral values were inculcated. Hardworking fathers were around the home after work. Their sons saw their role-models right in the house, the yard.
Today, alas, who teaches hot-blooded young men to be real fathers? I think I hear of efforts by the Assemblies of God? But ought there not to be some structured, widespread programme of counselling on this specific area of responsible parenthood?
The books will tell us that real dads “are naturally protective and supportive responsible parents who are able to engender a number of significant benefits for themselves, their communities, and most importantly, their children. Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by their doing so. Active father figures have a key role to play in reducing behavior problems in boys and psychological problems in young women. For example children who experience significant father involvement tend to exhibit higher scores on assessments of cognitive development, enhanced social skills and fewer behavior problems. An increased amount of father-child involvement has also proven to increase a child’s social stability, educational achievement, and even their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult. The children are also more curious about the world around them and develop greater problem solving skills. Children who are raised without fathers perceive themselves to be less cognitively and physically competent than their peers from father-present families.
Fathers, sometimes naturally, are authority figures, the traditional Head of the home. (Of course then-and now- some mothers use daddy as a bogey-man, scare-tactic. (“Wait ‘til your father gets home…”). But it is not my intention to detail everything about the importance of fatherhood as it is to appeal for more to be implemented to produce real dads who stay around to partner their children’s mothers – whether married, or not.
Too many of Guyana’s chile-mothers know their children fathers only as sperm donors. Our fragile society cannot afford that. The sperm – the male generative fluid – is necessary to cause pregnancy. That “donor” however must be more than a contributor who can become the genetic or biological father. Guyana needs fathers in the fullest sense. As one who grew up without a father myself, I know of the role of strong mothers, grandmothers and aunties.
But we only think that fathers are not necessary. That male parent is meant to offer the child so much! Even if that father is not the biological parent.
I’d love to hear our social scientists and activists on this issue. With specific reference to Guyana. (Not now to those societies where sperm donations and sperm banks are big business.)
(Ancestral) Queens-College values
I’ve never attended a Secondary School. Imagine my youthful admiration, then, of those who graced the halls of such schools as “Queens”, Bishops”, “Saints” and “Roses”. And then I became a “fan” of the speeches and delivery of Dr. Rupert Roopnaraine, a QC Old Boy, of course.
He captivated them-and-me-again as he addressed his QC peers and today’s class at last week’s grand 165th Anniversary Re-union. Brazen as I can be, I’ll dare to suggest to Dr. Rupert that when he said to his school mates that “our generation was growing to adult-hood in an environment that had not completely lost touch with those ancestral values that accorded great importance to such inclusive values as sharing, solidarity and togetherness…” when he shared that hope and sentiment of reclamation, he should have also acknowledged the Queens-College (Colonial) values, mores and standard of excellence the masters and management of that school exuded.
Simply put Doc, my addendum is that the “colonial teaching” of the Old Boys was precious and vital to both standards and re-inforcement of whatever traditional, “ancestral” values you speak about.
Ponder well…
● 1) Priests, Judges, Professors, Superintendents of Police, Presidential Guards, Publishers, Big Parliamentarians, Businessmen, Drug barons, Cocaine Couriers – and me – All Love to travel to the USA.
Deny or revoke those visas and many can’t enter there “to see the children in University”, to “get medical attention” or to “attend that course…” What a thing!
Name three top government officials who’ll be denied entry to America by month-end.
1b*) No, I won’t join in the raging issue of “official torture”. (But look how good police are tainted – and how cases can be thrown out – as even the guilty can walk free…).
● 2) The Albion Sugar worker thinks : “Me produce sugar so that all man get foreign exchange. Me vote PPP since me small. Which Union or govament can stop me from striking? Only if de corporation close…”
● 3) Coming Next Friday: “A morning at the magistrates court.”
‘Til Next Week!
(Comment? allanafenty@yahoo.com)
