Dear Editor,
I wish to pay tribute to Phyllis Carter, a remarkable Guyanese woman who was the essence of human kindness.
Phyllis served the public in terms of her membership of Castallani House, and her work with the Cheshire charity, making cakes and other delights for the severely disabled children there, fundraising for their security, and, at the humane level, chatting to the children, giving them much needed hugs, helping to change their soiled clothing, loving them by the sheer force of her generosity. Her training as a nurse made her an ideal member of the Cheshire Home; she cared for the physical welfare of the children, but more importantly, for their emotional needs. A hug, a kiss, a conversation, was as important as the provision of food and shelter.
Phyllis’s home was a warm and welcoming space to a series of overseas visitors, many seeking information on her husband, Martin.
She was an exceptional host, laying out her favourite fare of baked chicken and macaroni cheese to her guests. My colleagues from the University of Warwick, visiting Guyana, were beneficiaries of her hospitality, second to none. Knowing that they were coming, she stocked her fridge with welcoming beers.
Over the twenty years I met her, she was exceptionally generous, following me to places as varied as Tiger Bay, Sophia and Bartica (the Guyana Monastery there) to donate money for projects, including the Martin Carter Computer Scholarships. A pensioner with limited means, her purse and heart of humanitarianism, were always open. She would give money for this person’s light bills, that child’s school uniform.
Phyllis experienced the terror of living in Guyana: two years ago, she was present, having dinner with our dearest mutual friend in Better Hope, Mr Nazir Alli, when two bandits entered and shot Alli. My sister and brother-in-law were present when Alli was assassinated in their company. Phyllis chose to remain in Guyana, despite the trauma of seeing Mr Alli, executed in her presence. She did so because she believed that Guyanese people were essentially decent and caring, and that their virtuousness of character would overcome the spate of violence which afflicted the country.
She was my dearest, beloved most cherished friend in Guyana, a noble, decent and generous character. Her death is a devastating blow to all who knew, respected and loved her.
May her soul rest in peace, and may all those who shared her company live up to her qualities of kindness and forgiveness.
Finally, let me reveal that her saintly character never spoilt her enjoyment of rum and vodka. She and I spent many hours celebrating our birthdays (we shared the same day of December 9) in the company of our friends, often in Moses Nagamootoo’s backyard, playing dominoes, feasting on Moses’ Madrassi goat curry, singing karaoke, dancing, knocking back the liquor. She relished the carnivalesque activities of such occasions, and afterwards, would stumble into her bed and wake up long after the sun was up.
I once took her to a ribald session in Sheriff Street so she could see at first hand the merriment of poorer Guyanese, the desperation and cunning of street-girls, the fearsome entrance of bandits, the bravado of male bullies. As a highly respected member of the Guyanese middle class, I expected her Christian principles to cause her shock. Quite the opposite: Phyllis was her normal compassionate soul, buying drinks for people, talking to them about their jobs, their families, their predicament. She was the only elderly ‘white’ woman in the Sheriff Street bar, and they treated her with respect, if not a puzzled reverence.
My love for Phyllis as a cherished ‘mother’ figure will lead me to write something more extensive about her. In the meantime I simply wish to remember, with profound gratitute, the sandwiches she’d pack in my bag before I took the flight out of Guyana. When I got to Barbados, awaiting the British Airways plane, it was Phyllis’ food which kept me company on the lonely trip back to England.
She was my companion in this otherwise sorrowful journey; and my inspiration to return to Guyana at the earliest opportunity, to partake in the hospitality and graciousness of the country, which she embodied in her person and character.
Yours faithfully,
David Dabydeen
