Good manners

Dear Editor,

During the 2011 budget debate, standing at the Georgetown-Linden bus park just next to the Parliament Building, I made some observations of persons who were driving in and out of the  compound via the back entrance, where there is now a parking area. As is the order, there is a guard at the entrance who opens and closes the gate as they drive in and out.  A few of them upon entering would utter a “hi,” “hello,” a smile, a small “thank you” or just a nod to the guard as a matter of courtesy; while others, for whatever reason seemed lost in their world – oblivious to the guard, whose function is automatic allowing for their entrance and exit. But one particular woman caught my eye and so caused this letter.

She drove up to the gate and waited without tooting her horn; the guard had left for an instant, and she sat upright in a rather dignified way exuding much confidence and appearing satisfied with life.

The guard returned, briskly opened wide the gate and in she drove in without batting a wink – head held straight. She had forgotten her manners, as elders would say admonishing young ones. Was the guard just an ordinary guard, a gate-swinger in her eyes? Or was it just her style, done out of habit?

According to the older folks “handy tandy don’t bruck bone.” I judge her to be a member of the top functionaries of some sort, as I compared her to others, some who were much more humble and polite.  Editor, I have a friend who lives abroad – Aggrey – he once told me about an experience he had working as a guard at one of those big banking institutions in the USA.

He said that for about two years straight a certain manager would pass him at the entrance to his office where he (Aggrey) stood guard without even uttering one single word to him. Until one time there was a total shutdown – blackout – and for the very first time he heard this gentleman shout for him, because he was scared, felt unsafe, threatened!  Until then he never thought about Aggrey in any positive way, except as an ordinary common guard whose only worth and duty were to protect him.

Then some months subsequently, this manager saw him in conversation with a colleague of his and inquired from the colleague about their relationship, whereupon he was informed that the two of them attended university together; that Aggrey was head of their class but unfortunately something went wrong.  According to Aggrey for a moment this manager was a bit confused and embarrassed, but he soon shook if off.

Editor, I mention this story to show that we must respect people and not just look at them and put them down – as the saying goes, not knowing can’t tell.  I need to mention also that I can recall seeing at least two drivers entering/coming out of the Parliament compound who had children in their cars; the point being, how can we rebuke children at home or school for being ill mannered when we do no better in their presence? Isn’t this some kind of a fraud?  Do as I say and not as I do.  Children are often carbon copies of their parents, though they are often stubborn in carrying out our actions.

No wonder most children from the upper and rich classes treat other children and even adults with such contempt; this kind of conduct is seen regularly meted out to people who are considered lesser or unimportant. It is easily replicated, and pretty soon the children too become very haughty. Small potatoes, some may say – maybe quite true – but we need to remember “these little things mean a lot.” This is why it is very meaningful for us to not just talk what sounds right, but believe in what we say and practise it, especially leaders and politicians, or how else will we “one day rise up and live out the true meaning of our creed.”

To a large extent it is the quality of our leadership that will enable this country to fulfil the hope: “onwards upwards may we ever go.”

Yours faithfully,
Frank Fyffe