I have been struggling with a personal issue for a while now. This issue went deep into my soul and kept me awake far too many nights. Likewise, there have been many tears shed over this issue as I struggled to find the best way to deal with it.

It is not an easy thing for me to ask for advice from others, as I am a very private person. Yes, I share my opinions on women’s issues in public places almost daily, but when I am struggling with a personal issue, I tend to deal with it in a more private way.

However, this one issue was beyond my grasp to deal with in a coherent manner and I knew hurt feelings were clouding my judgement. In short, I knew I needed some solid guidance.

Stella says...I have presented this issue to one or two other friends, but many times friends and family members will take up an offense for you when you share your heart about an issue. This often skews their advice – regardless of how well-meaning it may have been.

I needed – and wanted – guidance from someone who could help me with this issue and who was not going to allow feelings to cloud sound judgement. I needed someone to talk to who could put their love for me aside and help me with this issue without partiality. I needed a person with real wisdom.

As it turned out, I had just such a person in my circle of friends. This Sister is older than me and has been through enough in her life to know her way around some difficult issues. I have gone to her in the past for advice and was impressed at the wisdom she had to offer.

I was also pleased at the discretion she afforded me. After all, it is a wise woman who knows what parts of herself to make public and what parts to retain as private. In other words, I knew I could trust this Sister, which is not an easy feat, as trust does not come easy to me.

The result of talking with this Sister was some of the best advice I had received in years. To be honest, the guidance she gave was already the flimsy direction I had chosen, but I second-guessed myself almost daily on this decision as I had received poor advice from others that undermined what I felt to be the best course.

The counsel offered by this Sister did not have even a hint of offence in it regarding my injured feelings and she did not just tell me what she thought I wanted to hear. Instead, the advice was the opposite of what most people – including myself – would have given on this issue.
However, this wise and brave Sister’s advice gave me the freedom to finally follow the direction my heart told me was best. I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted and that I can finally move on past this one issue and get on with my life.

I am typically a person who deals with life’s problems on my own. I am independent, smart and unafraid to move ahead with the decisions I make for myself. However, on this one issue, I needed help. I needed a wise Sister – and I am so very glad she was willing to help.

In today’s world, so many of us turn to self-help books, advice from TV show hosts (like Oprah and Dr. Phil) and to our peers (who are often struggling with the same issues in their own life) for advice. Why is it we seldom turn to those who are older and wiser than us?

We have a wealth of sage advice just waiting to be tapped into as we run around in all directions trying to find just a small nugget of wisdom to help us with our daily struggles. This older Sister (though she is not so much older than me) helped me to calm the stormy waters that had been tossing me about for some time.

When there is an issue that plagues you, it is so difficult to focus on your goals and dreams. Such issues can tear you apart on the inside until you find a way to finally settle the matter in your mind. We can waste countless hours of our life stressing over an issue to the point that it can have a negative impact on our professional life, our family life and even our health. My issue was just that type of issue.

Throughout all of human history, older wise women have been respected for their counsel and leadership. I have American Indian blood (from my grandmother) and like my ancestors, I revere the wisdom of these older women. In fact, in my family there is a long line of very strong women who do not shy away from leadership. My American Indian ancestors have wisely known for hundreds of years that older women are the model for empowerment, and give recognition to women of knowledge and age.

Though I have none of these wise women left on earth from my family, I know there are other such women all around – if only we open our eyes to see them. I cherish these Sisters and prize the advice I receive like a valuable precious stone. To be honest, the counsel I received from my Sister is worth far more than a precious stone to me.

A Native American Indian Hopi prophecy states, “When the grandmothers speak, the earth will be healed.” So remember, the next time you need some good advice, instead of turning to a self-help book or Dr. Phil, seek the counsel of a wise woman. I bet the guidance you get will go much farther in helping you than Dr. Phil.

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