Tragic lives

A mere 22, the age at which many young women are starting their careers, Bobbi Kristina Brown, the daughter of legendary singer Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown has died and will likely be laid to rest on Monday although a funeral service is reportedly set for today. The uncertainty is as a result of the bickering that is said to be ongoing between her father and her mother’s family.

20140118boxIt is no secret that Whitney’s family have no love for Bobby and that he has none for them either. It was all too clear from both their actions when Whitney died. Given that Bobby and Whitney were no longer together, her family rightly did not include him in the funeral arrangements. When he arrived at her funeral, his new family in tow, he found that provision was not made for all of them and finally left in a huff.

Since Bobbi K is his daughter, however, he seems to be asserting what rights he may have to decide the where and how of her funeral. Sad really, that after losing her mother at 19 and eerily dying the same way her mother did three years later – after passing out in a bathtub – it seems Bobbi K will not rest in peace.

If Whitney is looking on at this mess from wherever she is, she must be dying all over again. For one thing, though she had been slowly killing herself with her addictions, she would not have expected to die quite so soon. And for another, she would not have been expecting her daughter to join her quite so soon. Or would she?

To say that Whitney’s death shocked the world would be putting it mildly. Her fans must have thought she was getting it back together. There was the new album – not as high as her original standards but she could still make music. People close to her though, they would have known that she had not slayed those demons. They would have known that she was drinking and doing drugs. Did they love her so much that they became enablers? Or did they not love her enough to make sure and insist she got the help she so desperately needed?

It is obvious now that Whitney would have been a very unhappy woman and she tried, tragically, to fill the emptiness with the wrong things – substances rather than love.

Then there was Bobbi K. She would have seen what the booze and the drugs did to her mother, yet she stumbled down that same road. She would have grown up in a dysfunctional household though, so the damage would have been done early on. And according to the gossip magazines, she had reportedly gone off the rails early. Maybe her tragic fate had already been decided long before.

Bobbi K seemed to be just as unhappy as her mother was if not more so. Whitney was her daughter’s age when her singing career began to take off in a big way. She would have had a great deal to look forward to. Bobbi K on the other hand, did not have her mother’s talent and was always in her shadow. She too, looked to a career in the arts, but it was not going anywhere fast. Probably what she needed, was guidance and love. Perhaps celebrity life was not for her. But Whitney was already lost and Bobby was off growing a new family, so she seemed to basically do her own thing.

When Whitney died, Bobbi K was 19, still vulnerable, perhaps more so now as she would have expected to have her mom around for a while longer, but old enough to decide that she was doing what she wanted to do. Sadly, she ended up with people who really did not love her, so she too was enabled and she too lost her life as a result.

Can anything good come of this? Maybe their tragic lives will help some young person headed in the wrong direction to stop, take stock and turn around. Perhaps some of Whitney’s estate, which would have gone to Bobbi K can be used to start a foundation to help young women in danger of experiencing a similar fate. Who knows? Maybe such plans are in train already. That would be a good thing. R.I.P. Bobbi K.