It has been approximately one month since I have been in Belgium and exactly one week since I tied the knot with my partner of four years. I am not quite sure I have the right words to properly describe this euphoria that I am currently rolling in but I feel extremely contented and blessed to experience this beautiful thing that is marriage. However, I am also simultaneously petrified at the idea of ever losing him. There is something about that moment when you say “I do” that just solidifies everything. I don’t want to overwhelm you with my feelings today but with tips and ideas for those who may be thinking of tying the knot in a subtle and intimate manner as we did.

20140725last logoSome may agree to disagree on who should be at the wedding, where it should be kept or even what band should play. Let me just say I personally don’t do the whole what my in-laws, friends, parents think “we should” jazz. My belief is that a marriage is about two people uniting and spending the day how they want to spend it, not how the guests and family believe it should be spent.

Therefore, buy a dress, jumpsuit, suit or any other attire that suits your liking – forget about pleasing other people and Instagram likes. Have the cake you truly desire and make it about you (the couple) wholeheartedly. From destination to stocking type, make your own decisions.

Once you can be comfortable with making decisions together and not based on the beliefs of others, everything becomes extremely easy. My husband and I had spent a lot of time apart, so we naturally preferred to keep the wedding as intimate as possible. Here are a few things you
should probably bear in mind.

 

Location

 

Ashma John’s wedding (Photo by Kimberley Martin)
Ashma John’s wedding (Photo by Kimberley Martin)

Location is such a key thing. It sets the mood and tone for everything. We got married on Aero Island which is one of the Danish Baltic Sea Islands. It is a picturesque escape from the overpriced hectic city life and a place that forces you to be natural and relaxed. There is this special untouched feeling about Aero Island. You don’t feel the need to pick up your phone or even to be materially inclined in any way.

We concentrated so much on each other during our two-day stay; it was beautiful. The island receives a weekly visit from a police officer for just a few hours. This should give you a heads up of how calming and different it is. My suggestion to you is, pick a destination/venue that is stunning to you, even if it means going the extra mile. We wanted to feel delightfully isolated so we drove nine hours for that.

 

Wardrobe fantasy

 

A lot of people budget for a wedding and I think this is fairly important if you are having a big wedding. However, I don’t believe there should be any financial cap placed on your look. Pamper yourself. I absolutely loved hats whilst growing up. I liked them so much I took part in the yearly hat show in the Promenade gardens when I was younger, twice! So it was quite natural that I would have had the expertise of a milliner for my look and have something customized. Don’t be afraid to wear the things you really fancy, that may not necessarily be the norm.

Ashma is wearing a Meiling Bridal Suit, a Jackie Habets Hat and ASOS heels. (Photo by Kimberley Martin)
Ashma is wearing a Meiling Bridal Suit, a Jackie Habets Hat and ASOS heels. (Photo by Kimberley Martin)

However, don’t getting carried away with the ‘bridezilla’ effect. One shoe is not necessarily better than the other because it says ‘The Bridal Collection.’ There is this crazy feeling you tend to experience, that maybe if you have the one that says ‘Bridal’ or the one that is more expensive, you will feel more complete as a bride or that you are now ‘officially a bride.’ Bag that feeling and throw it away. Buy things that you like not the things they say you should like and have. As Guyanese would say “Don’t kill up yah self.” Enjoy the moment! Most of it is just marketing to make you feel insecure anyway.

I guess what it boils down to, is really knowing what you want as a couple. Most importantly, spend a lot of time together before the wedding. Attend as many pre-wedding activities as you can together. It helps to eliminate some of the pressure with organizing. For instance, Alexandru and I made the moulds of our wedding rings together over champagne and cake with the jeweller who made our rings.

All my love

Ashma

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