I overheard an interesting conversation this week. One woman was relating to another that she had intentions to “juk up” another woman if the she did not leave her significant other alone. She was quite angry and loud and went as far as to declare that she was prepared to go to jail for the man she had been with for over ten years. I felt quite uneasy and for a moment I thought about asking her why she was so passionate about harming another woman and possibly going to jail because of a failing relationship. I held my tongue because I did not want to get into a confrontation with the angry woman, but even without asking I got an answer. She said that the other woman was disrespectful. The offender knew that the man had a partner and insisted on being with him anyway; she was even bold enough to pass by the house he shared with the irate woman and call for him. The woman with whom she was sharing her thoughts was wise enough to give her the advice that was circling in my mind—it was not worth it and she should walk away.
As always, when I hear stories like these, the question that plays in my mind is: Why does the offending party in the relationship often escape the brunt of criticism and retaliation, especially in a relationship where the man offends by straying? Why is the anger often directed towards the other woman? Is it because somewhere deep within women’s psyche we believe in a silent sisterhood and being betrayed by another woman hurts more than being betrayed by a man? Is it because we feel the other woman should know the pain and, therefore, not be a participant in causing another woman heartache?
A couple of months ago, there was a case where a video surfaced on Facebook. A young woman was accused of having an affair with another woman’s husband and was lured to a location where she was embarrassed. In the video, the
