‘The Country Hopping Trophy’ and other awards for the Georgetown municipality

Dear Editor,

With the conferring of awards being undertaken over time to well-deserving persons in Guyana and also in many countries abroad, both to civilians and to persons in the military and paramilitary to recognize their achievements and contributions to society, I believe it would be remiss of us if there wasn’t the creation of special awards explicitly created for and bestowed upon the hardworking officials of the Georgetown Municipality. Some of these awards can include the following:

  • ‘The Country Hopping Trophy’ – that should be presented to the Queen of the City for her diligent effort to visit every continent on the globe in her two-year term at the expense of the citizenry, without returning with anything tangible for Georgetown.
  • ‘The Cunning Linguist Award’ – that ought to be awarded to a senior staffer of the Engineer’s Department, who spends long hours and late nights in their boardroom only to be found doing nothing but having boxed lunches.
  • ‘The Birds of a Feather Medal’ – which will certainly be earned by the Fantastic Four whose members have hijacked the Council, making all of the decisions for the rest of helpless Councillors and Administrators, and who together foisted the notorious Parking Meter albatross upon the necks of the citizenry.
  • ‘The Having it All Prize’ – must be given to the Special Contractor known as Brother, Puri Man and Loan Shark for having earned hundreds upon hundreds of millions of dollars over the last two and a half years, without out ever having to bid or tender for the contracts he was awarded.
  • ‘The Wine to the Side Cup’ – must go to the Sardine Police.
  • ‘Sally in the Alley Plate’ – for their official mouthpiece who seems to always be sailing around on cloud nine, not knowing what is going on in the municipality or in the city, but who seems to be only too ready to sign off and have dispatched the recurrent letter that appears in the dailies.
  • ‘The Down to the Wire Certificate’ – a must for the City Treasurer’s Department, for ensuring that the Council is always broke, that they owe every single person and company that they can, in the country, amounting to billions of dollars and who are routinely failing to pay their staff on time and sometimes not at all.
  • ‘The Come for the Cash, Stay for the Lime Accolade’ – is well earned by the nearly two hundred friends, relatives, church pals and mistresses of the Big Enchiladas of the Council who have been capriciously employed, driving the payroll costs to well over a hundred million dollars a month with little or nothing to do on a daily basis.
  • The King of Illusion Prize – should be grabbed by the Town Clown, for his delusions of grandeur believing that he is someone of importance thus requiring bodyguards, for planning unrealistically to have modern shopping malls, petting zoos, having an eye in the sky with drones and converting Georgetown into the Green City.

Yours faithfully,

Magagula Jackson

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