The voices that speak the truth about sexual violence in our society should never be silenced. In this loud society, shame, pride and powerlessness encourage silence and that needs to change. The movements to end sexual violence can never be halted. Though it may seem impossible to achieve, we must continue.
Violence invades our circle of awareness from the time we are aware that we are someone; some are victims before they are conscious that they are someone and it shapes us to expect that it will occur throughout our lives, and, therefore, is normal. The root of sexual violence is interwoven in the root of all violence; early harm, and the lack of coping skills and mechanisms to deal with the pressures of life force us to live and die in this violent society.
Reports of sexual violence are constant. The reports expose us. We can pretend that we are whole, but we are damaged, deranged and hurt. We can pretend that we are not a part of the problem, but whether victims, survivors, observers or perpetrators, we can all identify that man, woman or child we know, that stranger we saw or we can look in the mirror and confront the fact that he or she is us.
I have attended many forums that addressed the issue. I have often cosidered whether the conversations that occur inside those spaces have ripple effects that result in widespread behaviour change. In the presence of intellectuals, survivors and even perpetrators, does the noise travel like the sounds of drums from town to town and village to village echoing that it is time to stop and time for healing or does it quiet when the gathering disperses?
On Thursday, July 25th, the University of Guyana hosted Turkeyen & Tain Talks 19 at the Pegasus Hotel and again those thoughts flowed through my mind as I listened to the panelists. The topic was ‘Interrogating Sexual Violence in Guyana.’
Once again, the voices of the experts sounded; once again, we cried within and openly as we listened to stories of the victims; once again, we lightly trod on the periphery of the issues. To truly interrogate sexual violence will take more than a couple of hours, more than a day, a week, a month – an infinite amount of time in a society that continues to deteriorate.
In the opening remarks, it was said that it was once believed than murder was the worst crime on Earth, but that sexual offences are perhaps worse because they rob people not only of their physical life, but their sense of identity.
Justice Yonette Cummings-Edwards, acting Chancellor of the Judiciary, reminded us that the victims are men, women and children and touched on some of the failures of the justice system; such as when victims are victimised over and over again when they have to repeat their stories and are sometimes told that they are fabricated.
The representative from UNICEF, Ms. Slyvie Fouet, reminded us that no form of violence is acceptable and that the wounds cannot always be seen and that we need an environment where youth and adults feel safe.
Ms. Ann Greene, Director of Children Services and Head of the Childcare and Protection Agency at the Ministry of Social Protection, told us about cases that have been reported and about the process when reports are made to the agency.
Dr. Quincy Jones, president of HES Consultancy, spoke about protective and preventative measures and the cost of treating people who have suffered.
Ms. Colleen Humphrey, a survivor of sexual violence, told her story about childhood molestation and rape. Some of us were teary eyed as she spoke.
Ms. Petra Richmond, founder and Chief Executive Officer of Critical Response Guyana, spoke about forms of abuse at all stages of life and how it destroys families and often leads to depression and suicide. She also noted that molestation should be given the same attention as rape.
Ms. Nicole Cole, Director of Citizens Against Rape, reminded us about the story of two-year-old Kimanie Watson, who was sodomised in 2013 and died shortly thereafter. Her alleged assailant was found not guilty and Ms. Cole reminded us that the investigators failed that child when there was failure to collect critical evidence. She also said that Guyanese are suffering from ‘Accommodating Syndrome.’ Shalimar Ali-Hack, the Director of Public Prosecutions, spoke about the number of reports and the fact that they are increasing with time; she reminded us that most of the perpetrators of sexual violence are male and most of the victims are females, but that an increasing number of boys are also being affected. Perpetrators also do not discriminate by race, culture or economic background.
At the end of the presentations, the audience asked questions or made comments. An important point that was raised by a member of the audience was about corporal punishment being a precursor to sexual violence. Corporal punishment is a part of the ‘Accommodating Syndrome.’ We are adamant that we cannot ‘spare the rod and spoil the children.’
The Bible (in Proverbs 13:24; New International Version) tell us, ‘Whoever spares the rod, hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
Many instructions in the Bible are left to interpretation. What is a man or woman who cannot think for themselves, but solely depends on instructions from other sources even when common sense tells that those instructions are destructive? Rod does not have to mean corporal punishment. But the intent here is not to debate scripture. Whether we are believers or nonbelievers in the Bible, in our laziness, in our conscious and unconscious efforts to continue the cycle of violence, we excuse corporal punishment. Isn’t it funny that we are outraged by the cases of gender-based violence and express outrage every time a woman is killed, but we continue to think it is perfectly normal to beat children and it will have no effect on their behaviour as adults? We are teaching children that punishment of the body is normal and deserved for ‘bad behaviour’, but we are surprised at the prevalence of violence in all its forms in our society? But this is how we were conditioned and sometimes even when parents do not intend to hit their children, they do it.
Corporal punishment, gender-based violence, sexual violence, all forms of violence are interconnected, and we will never solve any of those issues if we continue to deny this. Until we are willing to deal honestly and acknowledge that we begin the damage of the children from young, until we are willing to apologize to our children, to work together to heal ourselves, to change our behaviour and break the cycle, it will continue.
