Hello there Guyanese citizens, including all of you under-18 years of age, but especially those over – 18. Those past 18 can vote! They are known as “the electorate” as they are eligible to elect.
So all are welcome to this the second edition of this Elections Season cook-up – a light-hearted satirical “column” meant to sprinkle peaceful water on the sometimes fiery contentions stoked around these times.
Here goes:
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● Our Elections and the Lord Jesus
We repeat:
● The “Republican” Pastor/Priest Party is somewhat worried after reading what we revealed last time: Psalms 75 (6-8) declares: “Promotion cometh neither from the East nor from the West or South. But God is the Judge; He pullet down one and setteth up another. For in the Hand of the Lord there is a cup! And the wine is red!”
Now the PPP’s Bishop Edghill once claimed that if ever the Lord Jesus was to return here during Campaign time he would “vote PPP!” After all the PPP’s long-time emblem is the cup and one of its main colours is red. (Who would Lucifer, Satan, the Devil, Vote for?)
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Black Gold – Green Oil?
This elections will soon reek of that Black Gold from our Atlantic’s bottom- oil. Who knows? Some negotiated advance might be shelled out to those who (promise to) vote right!
Before and after witnessing the expected massive sea of green – thousands wearing the PNC colour- at Friday’s Concert Launch, an incensed PPP loyalist exclaimed: “How yuh tink dey manage to give away dem thousands of green T-shirt and flag? Is a certain Oil Company money dey collect as advance campaign donation!”
The PPP comrade claimed he knew about the campaign oily funding from “inside sources” as it was becoming obvious that that particular “Oil Company” wanted to “live anduh a PNC govament”. But he could not confirm whether the same company donated quietly to his PPP as a form of “insurance,” should his party triumph.
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● Campaign Cricket
It’s the perennial Cricket Season in Guyana, the Region and the world. Even during this Guyana Election Time.
Naturally, the PNC challenged the PPP to a Twenty/Twenty Encounter. The PPP won the toss and invited the PNC to bat first. Amidst interruptions for Christmas-time rain, the PNC scorecard read thus:
D. Granger bowled Jagdeo – 15
M.Nagamootoo bowled Jagdeo – 33
Basil Williams C. and bowled Nandlall – 34
W. Jordan stumped Rohee – 00
R. Bulkan run out – 00
K. Ramjattan bowled Nandlall – 10
D. Patterson lbw Rohee – 00
R. Trotman lbw Hinds – 00
R. Roopnarine rtd Hurt – 00
K. Scott run out – 13
W. Felix not out – 45
Total 150
●Twelfth man Noel Holder did not bat, of course J. Sharma was injured.
● PNC Head Coach was Hammie Green, fielding coach- S. Lowe and Physio- Aunty Volda
● Since five PNC batsman did not score, both lunch and tea had duck curry available.
● The PPP is gearing up to bat next but they do not trust any of the umpires. Why? Because they all work at GECOM normally.
By the way, will both Nappy and Brandon vote PNC?
Until…
