Today is the first day of the year. The idealistic amongst us usually see this shift in calendar dates as being a precursor for grand changes in their lives and that of others. While optimism is good, resolutions like all else require active commitment. Unfortunately negative beliefs and actions have long cloaked themselves as being feature parts of our culture and old habits tend to die hard.
Given the general lack of commitment towards dismantling dangerous cultural norms and attitudes, the patriarchal values of possession and control continues to rule our relationships with each other. Those that suffer the brunt of this are of course, women and children.
Only a week ago, a man murdered a young girl and her mother before fleeing the scene. This story dominates the media cycle for now but it is not a new story. In the coming weeks and months, there will be many more such stories. This is our reality. We are always operating in a constant loop of abuse and death. A large contributor to this is due to the lack of accountability within our communities.
When accountability is mentioned, it is automatically assumed that reference is being made to the prison system. While in our current framework, the prison system is a part of that, accountability rarely ever starts or ends with the law. It first begins in the way we think, act and respond to ideas on gender in our homes, churches, workplaces and social groups.
There is a clear line that can be drawn from the hyper focus that is placed on “women’s work,” women’s place and women’s way of being to historical patriarchal control. Children, like women are seen as mere appendages to men and their manhood. They are the othered and the abused. Despite all the social, economic and legislative progress that has been made, belief systems of the man as head or the law of a household still remains the norm.
So, we will continue to see women and children being beaten, maimed and killed. We will continue to see sexual molestation, violence and cyclical trauma. This is the loop we will stay in unless we begin questioning the ideas we were raised upon and actively work to break these down.
Young boys are still raised to be tough and aggressive go-getters while young girls are still raised to be empathetic and passive caretakers. The idea is still promoted that “licks” is necessary to bring about good behaviour. Then the majority is surprised at the cruelty that occurs. They do not look at these beliefs as intersecting issues that contribute towards violent relationships. Particularly when it comes to intimate partners, violent control and possession are normalized and framed as being an expected part of man n’ woman life.
As much as the media tries to distance itself under the guise of objectivity, we are all vessels for the beliefs and attitudes around us. Given inherent biases, media personnel help to maintain dangerous ideas of women’s autonomy and gender equality. Despite the countless media sensitization sessions and awareness campaigns that are often done by local agencies and CSOs, several media outlets still continue to abide by sensationalism first, ethics last.
At this point, it cannot be said that reporters and their associated editors are simply not aware of how the language used and information disseminated can impact the lives or memories of the victimized. It is more likely that they are simply comfortable with the existing dynamics of physical and sexual abuse and the victim blaming that often comes with that.
How else does one justify news reports of the young girl being “sexually active?” The reality is that many young children who are sexually active are victims of molestation and rape. Basic media etiquette dictates that details that would reveal the identity of children, particularly those who are vulnerable and have been victims of sexual crimes, should not be included in a story. So then, what was the relevance of this information to the public? This was not only distasteful, it is part and parcel of rape culture that seeks to frame young black and brown girls as being readily available for sex. It seeks to take the focus away from the person/s committing crimes against the victim and putting that blame on the victim themselves. Media has always had a large role to play in shaping public consciousness. To our collective detriment, this is not a role many take seriously.
The reality is that abuse against women and children and other violent crimes have been on the increase. The pandemic has removed a lot of safety nets for vulnerable persons and has also increased financial strain that often contributes towards increased violence. The effects of this period will last with us for a very long time and if it is that we are serious about changing for the better, now is the period to actively begin doing the work that is needed. Introspection, accountability and growth – this should be our communal mantra in this year 2021.
