“Little girls need to know their place, sorry to say this because I don’t know the whole story, but I know these teenagers behave more bruk out than we old people.” This comment was posted under a story this newspaper published recently about a man being charged with disseminating the nude photograph of a child.
It was one of many which cast blame on the child, questioned her morals and the conduct of her parents.
While it was not shocking to me (I have had countless arguments with adults who believe children should be blamed when they are sexually assaulted or raped), I became upset and took the decision to address the issue in this space.
Thankfully, there were many who condemned those who blamed the child and others who even attempted to educate them about child sexual abuse and the sexual grooming of a child.
Most of the people who commented and blamed the child were women, unfortunately. Below are some of the comments made.
“This is totally wrong what he did. These days the young children are dressing in skimpy clothes and doing videos on TikTok etc,” one woman wrote.
“Wow what is really wrong with some of these teenagers?” another questioned, making no mention of the man’s despicable criminal action.
“My question is how did he get the nude pictures?” one asked, and she was promptly answered by another woman: “Regardless how he got the pictures he had no right to post them on social media.”
But she was not done. She responded, “I know but am just saying it’s not just his fault.”
“It is just his fault. He’s an adult who should know better,” someone responded.
Another commented that while he should be held accountable, “It’s foolish on both of them behalf.”
“Ok, he wrong to share but who first shared? Or did he draw her nude. That young lady had to share her nude photos first,” said another.
A man agreed indicating, “…correct … this reminds me of females who get intimate with men that they don’t know…then when things happen, and folks find out …all of a sudden it becomes rape …”
No regard was given to the fact that this was a child, though even if it was an adult a crime was still committed.
“I have a friend got himself caught up in this same kinda thing… of course it started with the female (a teenager) sending him nude pics…,” he continued and later clarified that it was not a child, but an 18-year-old.
“I personally would not indulge in this kind of thing …..the man I question here ..was totally wrong …,” he later said grudgingly.
“But you know…I’m appalled that some parents just let their girl children come up like weeds and not be schooled about predators and so called friends on social media …and that’s the root of the problem …so I’m not flavouring anything… look at the whole picture here …where did the issue start,” another said, no condemnation for the man.
“You can’t blame the man alone,” another added
“It’s the minor also that sent out her nudes…these damn teenagers these days [laughing emojis] chatting with older men and doing adult stuff [emoji] and their parents have nooooo idea and when they go around their parents they so innocent,” another said, completing her statement with several laughing emojis.
The above is just a small picture of how society views child sexual abuse and rape. It is the same view that is extended to women who are sexually assaulted. Many find ways to blame the victim and we need to speak out and up for these victims.
Thankfully as I mentioned about there were some who actually placed the condemnation where it should be.
“Child pornography is crime,” one warmed and another said the man needed a good beating before he was jailed.
“To all the people that thinking he is not at fault you guys should go and do the same thing and see what would happen to you,” another said.
“A young mind is impressionable. They are easier to be influenced by a more mature person. They can be easily coerced and manipulated. Have you no recollection of your early years and how vulnerable you were to those who seemed more clever and glib of the tongue?” one asked.
“The adult women in this comment section somehow trying to place blame at the victim are absolutely despicable and should be ashamed of themselves. Just sickening. That could literally be anyone of your female relatives and I doubt any of you would want others adding to her shame,” was another response.
“I can’t believe these comments. The mentality that girls/females are always to be blamed is still beyond me. A minor is a minor and she needs guidance, not taken advantage of. If this mentality doesn’t change then these type of men will always take advantage, rape, beat and kill women,” another warned.
“I swear we as women are our own worst enemies. I can’t with these comments. Y’all continue to validate the actions of these perverted men and pray that it doesn’t reach your doorstep.”
Disseminating nude photographs of anyone is a crime and more so a child’s. According to the Protection of the Children Act, Cap 46:06, section 50, the following are offences for which a person can be fined or imprisoned:
a) Exposing a child to obscene material including pornography;
b) Sending and requesting nude or semi-nude pictures or any part of the body thereof to and from a child whether via WhatsApp or any form of social media;
c) Exposing a child to sex toys or obscene objects;
d) Exposing a child to drugs, prostitution or alcohol use;
e) Employing a child to work on a premise which sells alcohol or where prostitution is done;
f) Having a child on or at a property where drugs or alcohol is sold or where prostitution occurs.
The Child Care and Protection Agency (CCPA) in its October 25, 2020, 4 Minutes 4 Change article published in the Guyana Chronicle, noted that there are various methods when dealing with a person who has been sexually abused or raped, and some approaches are insensitive.
“Some think the victim is somewhat to blame, e.g. ‘what was he/she doing in his room anyway at that time of night?’ or ‘He/she got what he/she was looking for, if you play with fire, you’re going to get burned’. These connotations do nothing to help or heal the pain and trauma felt by the victim.
They were violated by someone who exerted power over them by subduing and sexually assaulting them,” the agency warned.
It warned that parents and adults must report child sexual abuse to the police or the CCPA without delay and they must not take the law into their hands and obstruct prosecution, by seeking compensation from the perpetrator for their silence; or by beating the culprit to within an inch of his life. Both these actions are accessories to the crime.
Here it is also important to understand the term sexual grooming, which many persons have not heard of or just totally ignore as they go on the path of blaming children and women.
According to the American Bar Association’s website, “Sexual grooming is a preparatory process in which a perpetrator gradually gains a person’s or organisation’s trust with the intent to be sexually abusive. The victim is usually a child, teen, or vulnerable adult.”
Grooming is also a method used by offenders that involves building trust with a child and the adults around a child “in an effort to gain access to and time alone with her/him. In extreme cases, offenders may use threats and physical force to sexually assault or abuse a child. More common, though, are subtle approaches designed to build relationships with families.
“The offender may assume a caring role, befriend the child or even exploit their position of trust and authority to groom the child and/or the child’s family. These individuals intentionally build relationships with the adults around a child or seek out a child who is less supervised by adults in her/his life. This increases the likelihood that the offender’s time with the child is welcomed and encouraged,” the association further added.
It is important for us, especially women, to understand the above information and not blame children when they are abused. It is time we build some real sisterhoods (I know I have said it before, but it cannot be said enough) and help each other.
Please stop blaming children and women when they are abused and give support and ensure that the perpetrators to be held unaccountable.
If you know a child is being abused please call CCPA on the hotline on 227-0979 or email childcaregy@gmail.com.
