Disappearing civility

We reside in a world today in which rapidly developing technology is not only changing the way we experience life on a daily basis, but also, it could be suggested, as a spin-off, is having a deleterious effect on the way we treat each other, even in basic everyday functions. Whilst we might scurry to lay the blame on the changing times or the same technology, it is pertinent to question whether it is not just us, the people, who are the real problem.

Civility in society today — not to be confused with civil society — seems to have become like an outdated mode of dress, such as the Houppelande of the late Middle Ages, a full-length, robe-like garment which fell in folds into a bell shape and featured a high collar and wide sleeves. While is quite acceptable for taste in fashion to evolve from the outrageous to haute couture only to return to the absurd, why should we, as a society, be just as ridiculous and toss good manners and politeness out of the window? Why are we hastening our descent into this apparently bottomless pit of doom?

Our society is rife with examples of this crass kind of behaviour which has invaded every facet of it. The roll of honour, not unexpectedly to say the least, is headed by those minibus drivers whose daily ambitions seem to be attempts to break every law in the Highway Code Act. They try to out blast the music systems of their competition, overload their buses on every trip, overtake as many vehicles as space permits and cause as many near accidents and heart attacks to innocent bystanders, as possible.

Customer service or lack of it comes a close second. One can be gripped with dread when having to venture into certain business establishments, not at the fear of being robbed but rather at the thought of having to speak to the employees of the said entity. The culture which permeates indicates that those standing behind the counter are just doing you a favour by attending to you. One could be exposed to this unfortunate development whether one is in Bourda Market, a hardware store, a financial institution, a government building, or a restaurant.

Gentlemen of yore, those who held doors open for women and children, greeted everyone with a warm smile, and whose vocabulary was littered with phrases such as ‘Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Please, and Thank You’ are a fast vanishing species in the way of the Dodo. The least uttered on the subject of cursing, the better, as this manner of communicating is now so engrained that to hear children of kindergarten age wield that ‘alphabet’ with the expertise of a drunken sailor is to realise the depths to which we have plummeted as a society. 

It might be proposed that those in positions of leadership should be the ones righting the keel in this instance, but one might cringe at that idea after casting one’s memory back to the rudderless chain of events which unfolded after the 2020 General and Regional Elections. Integrity, without which there can be no civility per se, has long since been abandoned in real terms and the society has evolved into a monster of its own making. The uncouth exchanges which followed on social media between supporters of the two major parties, both locally and in the diaspora, signalled a virtual cold civil war. It was not, in hindsight, something we, as a society, by any means, should be proud of. And to what end? Lifelong friendships with origins dating back to school days, primary school, in some instances, were tried, tested, torn asunder or irreparably damaged by our own lack of civility and basic respect for each other. Now, many of us, probably in our quieter moments of late, are silently bowing our heads in shame, at least those who still possess some element of civility.

Why are we floundering in this abyss? “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars//But in ourselves, that we are underlings,” Cassius, a Roman nobleman utters to Brutus in Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar (Act I, Scene III). Cassius is trying to persuade Brutus to stop Caesar from becoming a monarch, by presenting the argument that it is their weak position rather than fate that is preventing them from acting against their will.

It would be apt to paraphrase Cassius in this instance, since, only we can be held accountable for this sad state of affairs in which we, as a society, have submerged ourselves. There are no excuses to be had, as good manners and basic decency, the tenets of civility cost absolutely nothing to learn or to put into practice. Fortunately, some good examples of how we should conduct ourselves still exist. We would do well to seek their guidance for a forthright return to civility. Time is of the essence.