“I am just happy that I get to see my children and now I have them again. It was very hard not seeing my children and not knowing where they were,” said Nadia Simmons who had not seen her two sons — aged six and two — since May 31 when their father took them into his custody.
Last week, she had indicated in this space that she was desperately trying to find her sons and even though she had engaged the police, Child Care and Protection Agency (CC&PA) and the Family Court almost two months passed before she learnt the whereabouts of her two sons.
The CC&PA finally made contact with the father and he took the children to the agency on July 30. Initially, last weekend, the boys were placed in the temporary custody of their paternal grandmother but as of Thursday last week Simmons has her sons. Going forward, their father can have them for weekends and return them to her care.
“I listen to what the officers say and I want … for us to co-parent the children because I know is best for them. But to be honest I am afraid because look how he had me children and I didn’t know where to find them,” Simmons said.
“I don’t want to have to go through back the same situation again but I am hoping for the best because is not like I don’t want the children to know their father. It is his children and I want them to know he, but he can’t take them and I don’t know where to find them. I would never do something like that.
“Right now I am just focusing on completing my studies and then I would return to Bartica because I have my house there and I have a business but I am trying to make things better by furthering my studies.”
Simmons had asked the man’s sister to look at the children on May 31, while she attended class. The sister indicated that their father took them but said she did not know where he lived. Simmons engaged the police but even though they intervened the man was not found. Several calls to his mobile phone went unanswered until July 27, when the phone was answered and she heard her sons’ voices. In her desperation to find her sons she had made a Facebook post with photographs including one of the father’s current partner who made a police report resulting in Simmons being arrested. She was told she was going to be charged under the cybercrime act. No charge has been laid, but the matter is reportedly with the Director of Public Prosecutions.
“When I saw my sons at child care you would not know how I felt and I don’t want to have to go through that again,” she said.
“Is a whole long history we have and some things I would not share but as the people at the agency say we have to do better for our children and it is good for them to know both of us. We just have to try and make things work and I will keep my end of the bargain. I just hope he do the same.
“It is not the first time I had to go to the police about him taking the children. The first time it was just my big son and I had to get the police involve. I don’t want to have to go through this again because it is not nice not knowing where your children are and you can’t speak to them.”
They will have to appear in court in the near future to address the issue of child maintenance, as Simmons had summoned the man while she was still pregnant with her last child. He has not been paying the court awarded sum and now there is a backlog. She believes that was one of the reasons he took the children.
“We will have to go and see what the court says because I need help with the children. I am trying but I need help and like I said I just hope that we can do better and do like what the child care say and co-parent our children,” Simmons said.
At the agency last week, the six-year-old asked to spend some time with his paternal grandmother who is visiting from overseas and Simmons said she was happy for him to go as she does not want to keep the children away from their father or his relatives.
While Director of CC&PA Ann Greene did not want to go into all of the details of the case, she said her officers will continue to work with the parents as their priority is the interest of the children. She said there are issues that need to be ironed out, but she hopes by working with them they can become better parents and understand that their children need both of them.
As she has said in the past, Greene pointed out that it is not in the children’s best interest to be in state care but if the parents cannot create a cohesive environment for them then that might be the route they have to take as has been done in other cases.
“The children are with the mother right now and we will continue to work with both of the parents because as I have said the children need both parents and they have to come together and give them that structure. We want the children to have that environment where both parents are in their lives,” Greene told me.
Last week Greene had noted that the question of access to children is the right of both parents. She had noted too that when there is a separation children are in double jeopardy, as they already have to deal with their parents being separated and having access to both of them. When the parents are unable to come to a compromise and have a structure on how they will both have access to the children then the trouble starts because children need to benefit from balanced parental care.
Greene had made it clear that no father can say he has rights and just remove a child or children and hide them away from their mother; no mother has that right either.
For now Simmons has her children and I pray that she and her former partner can come to a compromise in the best interest of their sons and they can co-parent in harmony.