We live in a world that pressures women to dress and act in a certain way. Women unthinkingly transfer these beliefs to the next generation, sometimes taking joy in doing so; it’s as if they believe real character derives from clothing choice. These attempts at control are diverse and can be extreme depending on where you are. But in all instances the habit of creating rules for women to be respected as women hinders a person’s real development.
The most annoying question I still get asked to this day since I have been married is, ‘how has married life been treating you so far?’ People say it as if there is supposed to be some grand change. They say it as if I am supposed to change everything and adapt my habits—like my way of dressing or the friends that I keep—to suit my husband.
When I was home last December, one of my Godmothers said something to me that made me feel really sad and imprisoned to an extent. As I was getting dressed to go out, she said, “Girl, you like to show your skin. That is something that you wear only when you are with your husband… You are married now.”
Now, one can interpret her statement in many ways but for me, what this actually does is make it okay for men to think it’s wrong when a woman expresses herself through her mode of dress because they
