Let’s talk about sex

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

In our society, we don’t talk openly about sex and sexuality. Many of us still think about it as a taboo subject, even with our partners.

Both women and men might joke about sex among their friends but when it comes to talking about it with our partners, or perhaps even exploring our own sexual desires, we all of a sudden become meek and shy.

Endless studies have shown that sex has numerous benefits for both physical and mental health.

But before we get into the benefits of sex, let’s look at a few perspectives that are out there:

Historically, we have seen the view of sex as something sacred between two people. However, values are changing and we have also seen people choosing to be in polyamorous or “open” relationships, where they have multiple partners who typically know of each other. 

Traditionally, as well, it was often considered “normal” for boys to masturbate during the developmental stage of adolescence but “taboo” for girls to do the same. Many feminists have argued that this “stigma” is what has caused girls and women to become shy about their sexuality and perhaps not enjoy sex the same way as their male counterparts.

That being said, what people choose to do in their bedrooms is entirely up to them so as long as it is consensual and it brings pleasure. If you have a partner, start to feel free to explore each other. You can simply start with touching. You might be surprised at the erogenous zones that you discover. Remember that the skin is the body’s largest organ and that touching the skin gently can produce great pleasure. Spending time to slowly discover and explore each other’s bodies can bring more pleasure than you could ever have imagined. Do not be afraid to tell your partner what you like and remember that it’s a two-way street.

Being without a partner is no sin and this doesn’t mean that you cannot take the time to enjoy and discover your own body. In the 21st century, self-pleasure is less of a taboo and besides, what you choose to do with your body in your bedroom is a matter for you and no one else. It has been argued that pleasure starts with discovering one’s own body. If we cannot discover what we like, how can we expect our sexual mate to know what tickles our fancy?

It is also worth mentioning that men and women will experience pleasure differently. Women have the upside benefit of being multi-orgasmic creatures but this doesn’t mean that men don’t enjoy sex as much as women. Sexual pleasure will be different for everyone and in the end, it’s about first knowing about your own body and taking the time to discover one mate’s.

Now that we have learnt about opening up and talking more openly about sex and sexuality, let’s look at some of the many benefits of sex.

Mental health benefits:

Reduced feelings of sadness, depression and anxiety

Increased happiness

Increased levels of intimacy

Improved confidence level

Physical benefits

Burning calories

Increased heart health

Better sleep

Lower blood pressure

Better looking skin

The first step to learning more about sex and sexuality is talking. When we start to have open conversation and free flowing discovery without judgment for ourselves or our partners, we will discover that the road to pleasure is endless.

Alicia Roopnaraine is a Psychologist at the Georgetown Public Hospital Corporation’s Psychiatric Department. You can send questions or comments to her at aliciaroopnaraine@gmail.com