It has been common practice for human beings to highlight the weaknesses of others. We do it without thinking, and without even realizing that we might be incapable of saying something positive. The truth is from a psychological perspective, people who cannot speak well of others have deep-rooted insecurities about their own self and likely cannot find positive things to say about themselves. We will learn that we will start to feel better about ourselves the instant we start to speak well of others and recognize the strength of others instead of always looking to their weaknesses.
So how do we start spotting the strengths in others? Whether it’s in the workplace or with family and friends, we can start by thinking on the positives of that person. If it’s a co-worker, ask yourself: Why was he/she hired for their job? They must have had some good quality about them, like leadership and teamwork. Do they work well with others? Do they have good leadership skills? Are they friendly and easily approachable? If you can find one good quality then letting that person know what you think about them will not only make them feel worthy but will also make you feel better about having said something nice to someone .
But what about if you really can’t find a strength in someone? “Is there anything that I could do in that regard?” you might ask yourself. The answer is yes, since everyone has something good about but it sometimes takes a little searching to find it. The key word is motivation. We can absolutely motivate someone to find the strengths they themselves probably never knew they had.
Let’s face it: Helping people to realize their potential can be hard work. The truth is most of us lack the knowledge and skills to support someone in making lasting changes when it comes to the way they think, feel or act at work. But researchers have found that when we help people to discover what’s strong, rather than just what’s wrong, they are often less stressed, and more engaged, energized and resilient in their work. By helping people to explore how their character strengths have enabled success, you empower them to set strong goals and encourage them to engage their strengths on a weekly basis – all while honoring the strengths in others.
Most importantly, remember that when we start to look to the positives of others, we slowly begin to rid ourselves of internal negativity which may have been affecting us unconsciously. Once you keep up the “strengths training,” you will evolve to a place where looking to the strengths of others becomes second nature and the realization that highlighting the positives of others made you look to the positives of yourself and boosted your own self-confidence and self-esteem.
Alicia Roopnaraine is a Psychologist at the Georgetown Public Hospital Corporation’s Psychiatric Department. You can send questions or comments to her at aliciaroopnaraine@gmail.com
