The deaths of Joel, Isaiah and Haresh are still fresh on my mind, even though I feel less guilty about being alive this week in comparison to last week. For the last five days, however, it has felt as if I have just been existing and mindlessly completing tasks without any emotion, a sense of blankness looms.
My body has neglected defence mode for now and has gone into deep reflective mode about life in general and processing grief. The news of the Henry boys came at a personally complex time for me. It was the last night I spent with my sister before she left for Guyana again after five long years of not seeing each other.
It would have been even more tough to experience such levels of shock in isolation and particularly juxtaposed against the reality of the relationship the two cousins had shared. I find myself clinging to the pictorial memories with feelings of happiness and guilt. I thought a lot about what self-care should look like in times of loss and which bits have helped me to cope in the smallest of ways
