This past week has been awkward. My sleeping patterns have been misplaced and it felt like I subjected myself to an obscene amount of unnecessary screen time out of boredom. Though I have grown accustomed to life in quarantine and found things to constantly do, I still find myself intermittently abandoning chores and falling into brief periods of depression. It is difficult to make abnormal feel like normal, no matter how hard you try. There is nothing normal about the way we are living now.
The feeling of wanting to be constantly productive is an unhealthy feeling to entertain and it is one that I battle with steadily. It tends to also fill you with an immense amount of guilt, often blocking in your return to normalcy. We have become so accustomed to grind culture and productivity even in adverse circumstances, we want to find things to be proud of, despite feeling emotionally and physically depleted. Perhaps this is why I feel guilty to listen and trust my emotional state.
