Dear Editor,

I think that Georgetown should be renamed Vatican City.  This is said because of the incredible level of infallibility that has graced activities and standards of recent years.  Nowhere else even comes close – neither advanced economies nor second-rate dictatorships nor Third World societies.  It is a flawless record, indeed.

On an almost monthly basis, hundreds of millions of dollars in contracts are awarded.  Similarly, bids are tendered by the dozens for participation in a wide field of endeavours.  There has been no grating of discordant gears in this great smooth machinery, no emission of the foul gases of contamination.  No, not a single whiff of the unbecoming; everything is as perfumed as Arabia.  This is most impressive, and no amount of praise and admiration can be enough, neither should any be withheld.

This domestic predisposition towards infallibility is even more pronounced elsewhere.  In this village where the cascading liquidity of illicit wealth floats most boats, there is no one whose feet are wet.  In fact, everyone suffers from the dehydration of abstinence brought about by parched throats and clogged tongues, and the dryness of higher ground.  In other locales, stalwart men from the thin blue line, the bench, the business world, and the world of politics have all fallen, and fallen hard and publicly.  But not in the Vatican City that is Georgetown (meaning the whole country) – no, none has succumbed.  Such is the height of this infallibility.

The rest of the world has unveiled its latest gallery of serious financial rogues, and lesser assorted cads.

Even nearby Trinidad experienced its own version of a gale in a teacup, as unfolded in the Nunez-Tesheira controversy.  But not snow white Guyana, where the closest thing that surfaced was Clique-O.  And just like in the twin island, substance was effortlessly replaced with the entertainment of political theatre when addressing the issue.

Such is the sweep of incorruptibility – and infallibility – that permeates people and practices across this Vatican on the Demerara.  It is enough to make even cardinals weep.  Never have so many dealt so honestly with so much for so long.

Of course, there is another way of looking at this.  It is one where we salute those who are about to… well, make another deposit at their bank.

Yours faithfully,
GHK Lall