It was the end of the working day and I was leaving the office when I saw her; she gave me a wave with a bright smile.
“It does really hurt me, some days I would just sit down and cry to know that I carry he for nine months and now I don’t have no baby,” she said in tears.
“I am not sure who you talking about because we don’t use first names here, we use last names, but if you know where to find her you can go ahead,” she said, smiling sweetly as she spoke.
“Sometimes I just get so frustrated as a mother that I wonder why I get children.
“I felt hurt, disappointed but it confirmed an inner fear I had for many years,” she said simply, describing how she felt when she found out that her husband of many years and father of her children, had sexually molested their only daughter.
“It is just hard for me to see myself like this and the New Year is coming, and things are not getting better.
“I thought having a baby was the best thing that could have happened to me.
“He attack me on the road and people deh all around and nobody come to help me.
“Girl I have already started cleaning,” my girlfriend said to me. “I want to make sure that by December 1st I finish everything.
“It came to a point where I wish I had the strength to commit suicide.
In the video, the two move in a dance and even though the moves are at times out of time with the beat of the music and the environment somewhat unkempt one initially gets the impression that they are a couple in love having fun; the caption is, “Nobody can stop this love”.
“I feel really bad and frustrated about this whole thing, me nah know why de police would do something like dah to me.
“I can’t express my feelings about it right now. It was terrible and I can’t see how somebody could do something like that to a mother.
“When I was getting her, I had so much dreams for her. I imagine I would be the perfect mother and she would be the perfect child who would grow up to be somebody good in life with a good job and I would be proud.” She rubbed her belly as if the child was still to be born.
She held her baby awkwardly as she tenderly looked into the child’s bright eyes.
The woman lovingly attended to what appeared to be a small wound on the one of the child’s fingers.
“They keep saying that God don’t give you more than you can take, but I going through hardship fuh me whole life, things not getting better.
“I don’t love him. Let me tell you that man treat me like nothing.
“As educators we play the role of imparting knowledge to the nation’s children and as it relates to imparting knowledge, the job demands various roles depending on the age of the pupil and the level that we teach.
“Girl you want this bag?” the woman asked in an irritated voice as she glared down at the small child standing near her.
“When my mother left I was small. My father use to beat her up and she left me and my sister and took the three boys.
“Sometimes I remember it like yesterday, when he touch me…. At first like I didn’t understand what he was doing but looking back even though I was small I know it was not a good thing, I know it was not the right thing,” she said almost forcibly.
Some time ago I was seated in my parked car on Camp Street with my two sons when I overheard a ruckus.
“When I see she face, I know something wrong right away. Me heart drop to me foot and is like I didn’t know what to do.
“I could remember vividly that as a child I would run from him because he would always try to touch my privates.
“I knew something was going on, but I could not put my finger on it.
“When my daughter write she get the lowest school in Georgetown. I couldn’t believe it, is like I went in shock…,” she said quietly.
I recently visited the women’s psychiatric ward of the Georgetown Public Hospital and I felt that were it not for the Grace of God I could have become mentally ill from just the appearance of the area and the depressing conditions under which its two patients were housed.
“My mom was not there for me, she would never support me with my homework and so.
“I got pregnant when I was 12 and my mother was angry, and she would beat me.
“There are always the memories, there are tears sometimes too. Quite a lot of memories, but I console myself with the fact that according to my faith in the resurrection I would see my son again under better circumstances.” The words of Claudette Fredericks who lost her son just about five months ago.
“Well some of my days are beautiful, and bright and energetic. On those days I forget there is still a word name cancer.
“I want a divorce. I don’t know if he is going to give it to me, because I believe he may want to give me a hard time.
“Some days does be trialling, but I had to throw pride and dignity behind and just do what I have to do.
“My daughter-in-law water bag buss since yesterday morning and she in suh much pain and only now dem preparing she to go theatre,” the woman said, worry etched on her face.
“I really don’t know how I get this thing and who give it to me.
“Sometimes I feel as if I am going out of my mind and then at other times I feel guilty as if I am not doing enough and I am failing them,” she said with a sad shake of her head.
The telephone on my desk rang. I answered and was informed that I had a visitor.
“My father put me out and now he say he will tek back me son, but he don’t want me back at the house.
“I wanted to die,…. I remember one time going to the harbour bridge at about three one morning with every intention of jumping over and this policeman pulled me over and he sat in the car and just talked to me.
“I am disappointed, and for me from my point of view I wouldn’t encourage nobody right now to go and try to get justice because if she did not get justice I don’t who could.
“Look just give meh a knife and leh meh kill meh self. I don’t want to live anymore.
“I don’t know how to feel but the matter get dismiss on the same day when was International Women’s Day.
“I would close up like around 10 sometimes, you know, because people coming from work does stop and buy.
“It was too overbearing and sometimes you feel like a slave in you own country and one day I just couldn’t take it anymore and me and another girl we just have to stand up fuh we rights.
“Being a single parent has it positives and its negatives. For me I have learnt to look past the fact that I am a single parent because honestly sometimes I don’t even remember that these children have a father.” The words of a 38-year-old mother of three (ages 13, 10 and 8) who gets little or no support from the father of the children.
“The worst part was being there and looking at my mommy feeling so uncomfortable on that hard, wooden bench.
“I never give up on my children. I always fight fuh them and even if I have to catch crab to help mind dem I do it,” the words of 47-year-old Cheryl Benn, a mother of 14.
“Tell me we get paid since the 22nd of December last year and to date we can’t get no money.
She sat across from me, shaking. It was hard to decide whether it was because she was cold from the air-conditioner in the room, or fearful.