By Abigail Headley
It is a widely-held belief, in Guyana and possibly the Caribbean, that men dislike Christmas because they are often burdened with the responsibility of cleaning and spending money. However, when it comes to my husband, I disagree with this notion.
As New Year’s Day 2024 will mark our first wedding anniversary, this will also be our first Christmas as a married couple. Since we chose not to “shack up” before getting married, this is an entirely new experience for us.
To say that I’m excited to be spending my first Christmas with my love, is an understatement. At first, we didn’t have any solid plans and didn’t even give it much thought, but as the time drew near the anticipation grew.
A few months ago, I underwent a major surgery, so we both knew that I would not be able to engage in any strenuous cleaning. With this in mind, I suggested hiring someone to clean for us. However, my husband rejected this idea. Even though he would not admit it, he thoroughly enjoys being part of the Christmas preparations, including cleaning and shopping. As a result, he proposed the idea of cleaning a little bit every weekend leading up to Christmas.
At first, I resisted this suggestion due to our typical differences in opinion regarding how things should be done. I am quite particular about the way things are arranged or fixed, whereas he is more laid-back in this regard, and I did not want us to argue about placement or any missed spots. However, I eventually embraced his idea. In order to avoid potential disagreements, I stayed out of his way most of the time, and, as God would have it, I had to be away from home for some pressing business or the other whenever he chose to clean. This arrangement worked perfectly, as I would return home to find each area sparkling clean. In fact, one evening, we even worked together to finish off one room and remove unnecessary clutter.
One of the most enjoyable aspects of Christmas prepping was the shopping. Due to concerns associated with the December 5 referendum and its potential consequences, my husband and I used whatever money we had set aside to shop early for everything, except for a few specific items, like pepperpot meat and flowers. It was especially fun shopping for curtains with him as we explored the different colours and styles and finally decided on a theme, right there in the store.
Walking through the aisles of the supermarket, searching for groceries both on and off the list, was even more enjoyable. It is often claimed that men despise shopping, but, again, I beg to differ. Perhaps it is the excitement of our first year of marriage (I hope not) or something else entirely, but my husband has been incredibly patient during our shopping excursions, not just during the holiday season. Even when we had to retrace our steps to find overlooked items, he willingly accompanied me.
I genuinely believe that his love for shopping is not just for show. Many times, during this season and even before, he would come home with a thoughtful “surprise” either for the house, food for us, or something special just for me. And each time he does this it warms my heart.
In return, I also enjoy surprising him by transforming our home, and for this I was especially excited. I couldn’t wait for the end of the school year and to put work behind me so that I could dedicate a day, while he was at work, to put up curtains and fairy lights. Seeing his pleased expression as he took in the “new” look made me incredibly happy.
Now, let me provide a little background story. Growing up, for as long as I can remember, it had always been me, my grandparents (who raised me), my three aunts and some cousins around Christmas. At times, we’d have the occasional “overseas” visitor in the form of an uncle or other relative. On Christmas day we would have a feast, prepared by the adults, and we would all sit around the table and enjoy. On Boxing Day, it was a tradition for all the grandchildren nearby to come over to the main house and we would have some semblance of a party.
Let me not forget to mention Christmas Eve, when I would fall asleep in a messy house filled with the aroma of pepperpot and ginger beer, only to wake up to a perfectly beautiful transformation. What a delight it was for a child! Of course, as a teenager, I would pull my share of the weight by scrubbing the veranda and stairs of our then wooden house, sanding and polishing furniture, and ironing curtains. Even as a young adult, after my aunts had moved abroad, I continued the tradition of setting up on Christmas Eve night, while my grandparents slept, and relished in the joy on their faces when they saw the transformation.
Unfortunately, everything changed after my grandfather passed away and my grandmother moved abroad, and I myself moved away to live on my own. It’s no surprise that since then, I have often felt depressed around Christmas time because I was accustomed to having my family around. As an adult, Christmas is not as exciting as it was in my childhood, and I have no children of my own (as yet) through whose eyes I can rediscover the wonder of the season.
Despite this, things started to improve about two Christmases ago when I met my husband. That year, I cooked up a storm and invited him to partake. Even though he had to work, I still found joy in sharing the meal with close friends and family members who were eager to “taste my hand”. Last year, I spent Christmas with out-of-town siblings, which was fun, especially considering the anticipation of my upcoming wedding.
Therefore, this year’s Christmas is particularly special, as it signifies new beginnings and the establishment of our own traditions. We won’t be engaging in the Christmas Eve setup or anything like that, but the excitement of spending our first Christmas together, and hopefully many more to come, is still present. We’re also looking forward to sharing these new traditions with our future offspring.
So far, the decorations are up, the church clothes are out, and our love for each other is ever-present. Unfortunately, due to my husband’s work obligations, we won’t be able to spend Christmas Day or even Christmas Eve night together. However, celebrating on Boxing Day will suffice. We have even planned to spend this day and the one after with each of our families who remain in Guyana.
As an unplanned consolation, while we prepare for Christmas, we are also getting ready for our first anniversary vacation abroad, which is the icing on the cake. Perhaps I will recount that experience another time.
