A sinewy man with a bright blue scrap of spandex stuck between the cheeks of his rear end can be a mighty distracting sight when you’re trying to bench press your first 70 pounds.
Last Saturday as I lay sweating, panting and wishing I hadn’t eaten all the junk I had over the last year ‘Mr Romeo’ came strolling from the showers — strutting his stuff. It took my brain a few extra seconds to process what my eyes were seeing.
The cheeks (his gluteus maximus) looked like granite and their definition made them appear as though he was clenching them together. You know, sort of like when you really need to go to the bathroom for number two but can’t find anywhere to go.
Of course, me being who I am, I nearly dropped the weights on myself as I lost my control to laughter. I was a little shocked too that this guy would strut through the gym in so little. Sadly, I quickly realized that he is not the only fool who tries to impress females by baring some flesh.
Impressed, well let’s just say it’s the last thing I felt. These men are becoming as bad as some women. They’re even shaving their legs so they can see the muscle definition better. I’m afraid that one day I’ll walk in there and all our body builders will be wearing mid-riff tops. I swear some of the dudes can fit into my bra! Plus I’m a little put out that I seem to be the hairy one now.
Fun aside, it is refreshing to see that more and more Guyanese are filling the gyms. In the last year, three gyms have opened around my neighbourhood and it’s not only the young adults who make up the membership. The older age groups seem to be realizing the importance of keeping the fat from piling up around their middle.
Maybe, just maybe – I may be hoping for too much here – a healthy population will mean some of us will have enough backbone to stand up for our rights and beliefs and not roll over and take it like a faithful old dog.
Now, after ‘Mr Romeo’ (the guy in the blue spandex bikini briefs in case you’ve forgotten) left, I told our trainer that I thought he was so vain. Well, the trainer proceeds to take his t-shirt off and flex his expressive slab of muscles. Then he shows me a picture of himself before he started weight training. He was a big headed, skinny chap. I got the point. The dude deserves to take pride in his appearance.
On Monday, they announced a ‘biggest loser’ in-house competition. We gym members decided to team up. Well, my partner showed up on Thursday morning to drag me jogging. It’s Thursday night and as I write this my thighs are killing me. I’m still cursing the junk food and wishing my gluteus maximus would just go numb for a while.
I’ve got to add this though. It’s amazing to watch some females at work in the gym. Some have so much body fat to burn that it looks absolutely comical when you see them curling five-pound dumbbells.
I asked one of them why she’s not challenging her muscles more by increasing her weights, repetition or sets. She promptly told me that she doesn’t want to look like a man. Well, I can press over 200 pounds with my legs and I squat almost a 100. These are my beginning weights and I still look like a woman and will in a year.
Well, folks what are you waiting for? Get up. Join a gym and burn your beer belly guys. Women get your mammary glands firm so the men can stop listening to you whine about how they look. Go get healthy! (srh.midnight@gmail.com)
