There are times when we all need constructive criticism – meaning advice that can help us to improve ourselves in some way. Taking constructive criticism isn’t always easy. Think of the following scenarios:
1. Your boss tells you that your last mid-year
report seemed to have been rushed. “You need
to put more time into research,” he says. How
do you react to the constructive criticism?
○ Reject it. (“My boss just doesn’t like me.’)
○ Accept it. (‘I’ll take his advice for my next project.’)
2. Your spouse tells you that the house is still
untidy—even though you just cleaned it. How
do you react to the constructive criticism?
○ Reject it. (‘He / She is never satisfied.’)
○ Accept it. (‘I admit that I could have done a better job.’)
3. Your younger sister tells you that she doesn’t
like your bossy attitude. How do you react to
the constructive criticism?
○ Reject it. (‘Who is she to talk about bbeing bossy?’)
○ Accept it. (‘I guess I could treat her more kindly.’)
So why do we need constructive criticism?
● Because we aren’t perfect: While we might
think that we have done something to the best
of our ability, others may think we could have
done it better. Remember we lack the ability to
be objective in the things we do so sometimes a
little outside perspective can help guide us in
the right direction.
● To become better: By accepting that we need to
improve on something means that we will be
better able to assess a situation from all angles
in the future, and trying to see things not only
from a one sided perspective.
How do I accept constructive criticism?
● LISTEN openly and non-judgmentally to what
the other person has to say. It isn’t just
criticism, it is constructive, which means the
person is trying to tell you ways in which you
can improve on something you might be doing
incorrectly.
● FOCUS on the message, not the messenger.
Many times we are quick to become defensive
when people have constructive advice to offer.
We think that we are flawless in what we do
and do not need advice. Set your pride aside
and remember that no one is perfect and that
there is always need for improvement.
● KEEP a balanced view of yourself. On the
same hand, accepting this constructive
criticism doesn’t mean that you are weak or
inadequate. It just means more work to be done.
Don’t lose track of who you are and what
capabilities you possess but remember to keep
a healthy balance .
● SET a goal to improve. Always find ways of
improving yourself in general but focus on one
aspect that might need particular work. Do
some introspection and figure out ways in
which you can do things differently. You will
never achieve perfection and that’s ok but being
humble and accepting that you won’t always
get things right is key in self-improvement.
Learning to take constructive criticism is an important skill to have. Instead of seeing it as an act of hostility, look at it as ways of self-reflection and improvement.
Alicia Roopnaraine is a Psychologist at the Georgetown Public Hospital Corporation’s Psychiatric Department. You can send questions or comments to her at aliciaroopnaraine@gmail.com
