We can learn many lessons from the way that political groups and others in power treat and respond to allegations of abuse by those within their leadership. The first is that privilege protects. Regardless of the crime, if you come from a “good” family, and are considered to be educated and successful within this space, you basically become untouchable. Evidence of this is seen particularly when it comes to cases of abuse against women and children, where systemic failures or gaps are often used as an excuse to pardon violent men.
Kian Jabour, a member of the A New United Guyana (ANUG), a small party was recently reinstated to the political group after being briefly suspended following abuse charges being laid against him by a former partner. Kian was alleged to have abused his partner, with snippets of this being caught on video. He was also in 2020 accused of abusing another of his former partners. Despite this seeming pattern, Kian retains a wide array of supporters who give him the benefit of the doubt, while demonizing the women who were brave enough to come forward.
Consistently, abusive persons in positions of power are allowed free rein to continue negatively impacting those around them. It is why I will always cross my eyes at men’s rights activists who try to push forward the narrative of false reports by women ruining men’s lives, because one, false reports are extremely rare, and two, we are steadily shown that their lives are rarely “ruined.” What they might experience is temporary embarrassment, but often, they come out unscathed and in even more powerful positions than before.
It is not lost on me that the withdrawal of the assault charge that allowed Kian to be reinstated to ANUG, is now being used by many as an indication that the report made was false. Reports are withdrawn for many reasons, chief amongst them being things such as fear for safety, negative public response to survivor accounts, and lack of faith in policing and court systems that have traditionally ruled against vulnerable people. This is why it is important for us to remember that the court system is not the blind hand of justice that many would have us believe, and abusers being found innocent is much more the norm than persons making false reports.
It is understandable though that there are questions being raised about why charges are withdrawn and why some women stay in abusive relationships. Many are usually at a loss that someone who is being abused would choose to remain with their abusive partners and withdraw charges against them. We’ve all heard the stories before of women returning to partners who beat them within an inch of their life. These occurrences have seen many regarding victims of abuse as being stupid, deserving of the violence meted out against them or even considering this as evidence that maybe they are not really being abused. What these narratives fail to consider are the complexities of people and the various types of relationships we find ourselves in that can often see persons being physically, emotionally and economically unable to leave.
One of the main factors at play is the simple fact that we have a culture of supporting abusers. We have become so accustomed to viewing domestic violence through lens far removed from our own lives that we do not allow ourselves to see how it exists within our own homes and that of our family and friends. This is because a lot of us have grown up in abusive homes and spaces plagued by histories of violence and inequality. Examples of healthy relationships are not frequently seen and as a result, we mimic harmful behaviours surrounding us. As a result, abusive behavior is normalized to such an extent that many are unable to even identify toxic behaviours and patterns.
Holding abusers accountable is much more than merely going through the court system, it is about calling abuse out where you see it, and challenging negative actions, words and behaviours. It is about providing support to survivors of violence and believing those who come forward, rather than revictimizing them through victim blaming and shame. Men especially need to hold men accountable as the buddy system of misogny remains at the top of the reasons as to why abuse continues to be excused.
