Pressure makes diamonds. This seems to be a strange but common phrase that many people have at the tip of the tongue, ready to dispense to a young person struggling with all of the new loads that growing up brings to them. This phrase, constructed to give us an extra push in the face of adversity, to help us take on more than we think we can and to help us continue hoping through the most difficult times, truly does carry a good message. But is it the right thing to tell our young people?
Pressure makes diamonds. Pressure makes struggling people into perfect, polished individuals who shine and make the world a brighter place. However, pressure also makes coal. Pressure also makes struggling people into dark, cold people who burn themselves out every time they try to make the world a brighter place. Letting our children handle stress and take on responsibilities that suit their age is crucial in their growing process, but putting pressure on them to do things that they cannot do could also hurt them and affect their self-esteem.
Recently, I discovered an interesting fact about Bonsai trees. Bonsai is a Japanese art of making miniature trees that are pruned and shaped into a specific form over the course of several years. What is fascinating is that this process, although it may create beautiful pieces of living art, involves stunting their growth so that instead of becoming huge trees, they remain within the size of 6 inches to 3 feet. When we put pressure on our children, and shape them into something that we think is beautiful, do we stop to consider whether we might be preventing them from growing into someone huge, or someone who can make a big impact on this world?
Children always look up to the adults in their life for guidance and support because they have not yet seen enough of the world around them to know how to perceive it and react to the things they go through. However, this very characteristic is what helps young people to approach life in a new way and to try the things that their predecessors may have never tried in order to fix an issue that has been affecting us for a long time. This is why it is harmful to force children into a specific mindset without letting them develop their own perspective of the world. Getting to know the young people we are guiding, then encouraging them to practice every talent they have can help them to become sure of themselves. Eventually, when they are old enough to understand how each talent can help them in the real world, they can make better career choices and other real-world decisions.
If you take the Bonsai tree out of its tiny pot and put it into the ground, it will extend and grow up to its right size. When exposed to the right conditions, it is almost impossible to stop a tree from becoming the best version of itself, no matter what it had gone through earlier in its life. Young people are much more resilient than we choose to believe. Pressure is not as valuable as we choose to believe. If we could just help young people define themselves, they can change the world into a place where people shine brighter than diamonds.
