Wednesday Ramblings

Jim Lampley: Welcome to HBO Boxing and we are back in Guyana. I never thought we would return given that the last fight between Corbin and Jagdeo ended up in a full out brawl.

But we could not, in all conscience, miss tonight’s bout – Bharrat – formerly known as “Debt Crusher” Jagdeo – now “Ball Buster” Jagdeo versus David “the Dinosaur” de Caires.

It promises to be a gargantuan battle with a myriad of story lines. Over to you Larry Merchant.

Larry: Thanks Jim and a Happy New Year. What is at stake tonight? Well, I would not be exaggerating to say this bout is nothing less than a struggle for the soul of a nation. Guyana gained independence 40-odd years ago, but the architecture of its social composition is still very much colonial. Indeed its psyche still remains mired in colonial mores and customs. No brave new world has been born.

And this is where Ball Buster Jagdeo, comes in. A humble boy from the countryside who was plucked from his mother’s breast and placed in Dr Luncheon’s controversial cloning scheme before being sent to Russia for training. He rose quickly through the rankings and has been the undisputed champion since 1998 with the retirement of Janet “Over My Shoulder” Jagan.

He comes tonight determined to knock the last vestiges of colonialism out of his opponent and thereby drag Guyana into a new century, represented by government financed hotel projects, dolphin exporters masquerading as presidential advisers and what many see as a creeping dictatorship.

What we may see tonight is a paradigm shift in Guyana – the incoming roar of the wheeling dealing Merchant Class, and the last throes of the intellectual conscience-bound aesthete.

This is high culture vs casual couture; Demerara shutters vs rum and cutters; Chaucer vs Chutney; Billiards at the Georgetown Club vs Pools at Buddy’s; Hammocks in the bottom house vs Hammocks on the Essequibo;

Scotch and soda vs Vodka and Red Bull; bleeding heart liberalism vs a strange mix of Darwinist neo-Marxism anything-goes-capitilaism.

George Foreman: Well for me, this fight is personal: DC was my trainer for many years before my retirement. He is a man of principle, a gentleman from the Marquis of Queensbury School. But with a probing and persistent jab that would wear an opponent down article after article, uncovering his true nature.

And tonight his opponent “Ball buster” Jagdeo could not be more different; he relishes the low blow – the verbal assault out of nowhere. His whirlwind approach consists of long rounds of him being silent and then he calls a snap press conference and takes out every grudge he has ever stored up. It’s chaotic, and at times plain mean. Add to that a pair of cojones now so big he has to have two bodyguards support them on a velvet cushion, and you have a very dangerous opponent. Case in point, two days after deriding Le Meridien as a two-star hotel with five-star pricing, he swans into the Savannah Suite and is talking to the poor GM as if they were best friends.

Tonight he is sure to unleash his usual laundry list of statistics that might persuade the judges to believe his arguments, while I believe David will employ a more precise attack based on the rule of law. Two very different fighters and a lot of animosity between them.

Larry: If I could just interject here, I am not sure that the bad blood that has risen between these two fighters is entirely justified. After all DC’s organ had a valuable input into restoring democracy to Guyana and giving the nation 15 years of PPP rule. Since then it has consistently denounced political violence and supported the right of this government to govern, barring a new electoral system.

Jim: Larry, this is more recent and has a lot to do with the AFC, a creature sprung like a runtish half formed infant from the loins of David’s organ, via numerous flattering profiles, generous space for columns, and editorials that all but endorsed the party, after a policy of not doing such a thing.

George: But Larry, Larry behind that is his desire for a more just society, one devoid of death squads, and the open support for businessmen who stand accused before the courts, and of a government that consistently tries to justify the means by the end.

Larry: But, Jim when we look at such activities as transfer pricing of logs – which is quite clearly tax evasion – the widespread under-invoicing of imports, and the myriad ways businessmen cheat their way to prosperity, what battles should we choose to take on?

George: Certainly not Ball Buster’s choice of clothing – an editorial that was unnecessary, frivolous and smacked of the same colonial mentality.

Jim: So here we are at the top floor of Buddy’s Pool Hall, the one he built without permission from the City Council waiting for the fighters to appear. I hear some commotion, it sounds like El Dinosaur is entering the auditorium to the sounds of the constitution being read aloud.

Ah there’s his trainer, Anna Benjamin massaging his shoulders, while delivering him a last minute precis on the history of the Suriname border dispute dating back to 1647.

They’ve entered the ring and DC is sipping on his customary scotch and water.

George: I am sure Ball Buster will keep him waiting. Let’s go to a commercial break