Darling, you snore…

Several years ago, when my partner and I moved into our new home, all went well until that night, two months later when she began to snore.

It was after a long tiresome day which saw me making an unusual decision to go to bed early that night. And I did so without regard for my ‘lifelong habit’ of going to bed within the two hours before or after midnight.

So we had dinner, went for a quiet stroll around the environs of our new home and by 9 pm, I decided to retire to bed.
I must have fallen sound asleep because suddenly I was awakened by a strange sound – I was in London’s Oxford Circus area, one of the busiest parts of the world at midday, when a train derailed, creating a loud explosion.

So loud was explosion that I jumped out of bed, hands firmly on my pillow.
And so my nights got interesting as when I retired my mind was focused on the loud snores which kept me awake for most of the night. Whenever my weary eyes finally closed, that was the hour my body resigned for the night.

I then developed a ‘night programme’; that I would sleep right throughout  the night whenever my eyes dimmed, and never wake up until my mobile phone alarmed at 6 the next morning. My programme saw me doing the usual bathroom rounds at least 3 times before I hit the sack.

But then I realized that the problem was overbearing and I could not keep up with my programme. The problem needed to be confronted and since the marriage was in its infancy, I decided to address the issue at hand with extreme caution. So I did my research, I flicked the pages in a few health books, I surfed the internet and I sought the advice of a few adults who I figured would know the solution to the problem.

One day, one year later, I mentioned to her at the breakfast table, in a nice, soft, mild tone that our neighbours snore a lot and that their obnoxious noises usually ruined my nights. I also mentioned a few reasons why people snore, and I made sure I told her what I learnt from my little research, that men have narrower air passages than women and are more likely to snore.

I was not too sure what the last part was meant to do, but my psychology was aimed at her, with much hope that she would at least check herself during the night.
That night, strange enough, or so I thought, I had a wonderful, serene well deserved rest. I think I had the best of dreams in a long time and which were welcomed since, at the time, I hadn’t any for quite some time. The next day I was in for a surprise.

She awakened ‘edgy’ that day and I thought something may have gone wrong the night before. Her initial comments were something to the effect that she “didn’t have a good night’s rest” and so I asked, with much curiosity, “but why?”

“Your snoring,” was her response. In shock I turned a blank stare to the clouds outside my front door and I fumbled to mouth my next question, “who me?”
And so we had a somewhat rocky conversation that Sunday morning which ended with us deciding to observe each other during the night. Of course I was the first to record her loud snores, since she went to bed earlier than my two- hours-to-midnight timeframe.

A few weeks later, during an overnight stay at relatives out of town, I was forced to listen to a recording to myself ‘hauling logs’, as the saying goes, and to my dismay, I even sounded louder than her.

After much discussion, we decided to approach our little problem head-on, and sleeping in different bedrooms wasn’t the solution. We found out that several things cause people to snore, including fatty tissue and poor muscle tone, alcohol intake, smoking (neither of us do any of the last two), use of certain medication and sleeping flat on the back, which causes the flesh in one’s throat to relax and block the airway.

Today, I discovered that while snoring can strain a relationship and more importantly put one’s health at risk, it’s important to address the issue head-on. And while we still snore these days, we have gotten used to it. I also discovered that research on most things on life, even a trivial issue as snoring, can lead to a healthy and productive life, and of course, a good night’s rest. (thescene@stabroeknews.com)