By Nathaniel Wren
For women who are difficult to love,
I wish to understand your character.
She warned me before we got into this
That she would be, sometime-ish
Something like it, or was it bipolar?
I hate that sometimes bitch.
But I find these suppressants depressant
To the calamity of your psychological activity
It fits me, the least kindly
In this sleeplessness I feed the crazy.
Made familiar by someone unfamiliar,
How do you explain your own muse
That can’t even amuse itself?
For 5 seconds, too long a time
I’d walk the distance before I wait again
I’m troubled, I stay the same.
I wish I could fix you, tweak your wiring
So you’d dance the way I want you to move,
Say the things you want to hear and then leave.
I just want a sense of relief,
It must be confusing to be you,
More me, a burden to myself.
They won’t understand, even if I read it a few times
And maybe even omit some lines.
As if saying you were here with me,
Or forced to go unwillingly by my well-chosen,
Poorly timed, emotionless lines
Would be different to your escapades.
To your mumbo jumbo
A language I have not yet deciphered,
But taste lingers on my tongue,
As the many words you won’t say,
But I recognize as the dialect
Of which your species mastered
To communicate meaninglessly with those
Who lack the decoding skills necessary
To decipher the not so harmonious of minds.
You can leave when you’re ready,
You’ve served your purpose.
And I remain the same, unchanged, troubled
By something I can’t understand
Or for my fear to comprehend,
I’ll just make pretend,
You’re fine, unchanged,
Difficult to love,
Impossible to let go.
