Weird dreams, insomnia and anxiety are among the things we have become accustomed to experiencing since the beginning of this pandemic. By now, some of us have worked out a coping routine for when things get overwhelming, whether it being baking, exercising, or calling loved ones to feel a sense of comfort.
So far, I think I have managed relatively okay as most of my circumstances have remained the same, thankfully. This is due to the nature of my job. One of the things I keep telling my husband during this pandemic is that I am happy we don’t have kids. I am not sure I would be able to keep up mentally. We all know kids can be unsettled at times. It is in their nature.
This pandemic is one of those situations where you have lost all external control of your environment while grappling to control things at home. Any resistance could serve as a factor that furthers stresses the mental weight of it all.
During this time alone, I realised how much I like to be in control of my space and the way things are managed. Many of us may have things that we can’t seem to control, like financial and other commitments or family struggles. Perhaps you have already paid your deposit for a hall for your wedding this summer. Or you were finalizing plans for a significant birthday for a family member (for me, it was my mother-in-law’s 60th). Or you were looking forward to a small vacation after a tiring first quarter. The disappointment feels overwhelming especially when there are huge financial implications. It can feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
In such situations, I rely on the advice of my late Godmother. She had always been fixated with giving me advice for when life handed me lemons and always making me do things the hard way, so I would never receive a shock when things changed. I remember when I was living with her for a few months before migrating and she told me to wash my clothes, jeans included, by hand in case my washing machine ever broke down. It is her physical layman’s terms life teachings that I fall back on every so often.
Not greener
The grass will always seem greener next door, but the truth is you don’t know other people’s circumstances. What might be burdensome for you might not be burdensome for them and vice-versa. It might be comforting to think how situations can be but try to take solace in fixing thing in tiny steps as opposed to constantly yearning for quick change
Reconnect differently
It must be painful to know special moments are happening and they don’t feel that special, like birthdays and anniversaries. Try to re-evaluate if achieving that special feeling is associated with consumption. We have grown so accustomed to not using words, actions, and emotions in our celebrations. Most have become strictly about consumption maybe this is why nothing feels celebrated. Nevertheless, it is actually not impossible to have a small creative birthday during the pandemic. I promise you, baking your own cake will not bring on the end of the word.
Looking back, it wasn’t about technique on how to hand wash clothes, but rather learning to be comfortable to deal with the uncomfortable to get through things. It is knowing that problems have solutions (some more temporary than others), and that these are dependent on our personal willingness to be open to them.
