Dear Editor,
In Guyana, we have many single parent households, of which women form the head of a significant number. Quite a number of these households are economically insecure resulting in the parent being unable to invest as much time and effort into raising their children as they might like. While the reasons are many, a large part has to do with the lack of accountability by many men when it comes to childcare. Lack of positive male figures can often result in young boys being more vulnerable to violence and choosing paths that are not good for them or others. This is why it is necessary for them to have access to those who are positive role models.
Given the cultural stigma associated with male sexual violence, many are resistant to speak on it and create supportive environments for those who have experienced assault. Working towards a safer community however means doing away with ideas that do not serve those who are most vulnerable. Men need to recognize that refusing to talk about the implications of sexual violence against children just contributes towards the maintenance of it, resulting in traumatized children lacking trauma focused care and who grow into adults unable to lead healthy lives.
Advocates for the care of young boys must begin with having open and honest conversations surrounding the ideas of manhood and what is really healthy for their growth and development. Too often, young boys and men are thought to internalize their pain and trauma resulting in a lot of instability within their lives. Boys need to have safe spaces to talk about how they are and the experiences that they have without fear, shame and judgment. Having men who are in touch with themselves and their place in the world can be very important in helping to provide some much needed support for young boys. Being a positive male figure in the lives of young boys does not mean that one has to be a part of a community group or organization necessarily, rather, one can start small within their own homes and social groups as it is only through sustained efforts on all fronts that we will be able to achieve the goal of effectively and sustainably caring for young boys.
We do however, need advocates that are anti-violence and who understand how harmful aggressive expectations of masculinity can be. It is important for men to take a look at their own relationships with each other and romantic partners and examine how these relationships can have a good or bad impact on young boys. Those who grow up in chaotic familial environments can often begin to see violence as a norm. As a result, when violence is inflicted on them, there is the internalized belief that it is normal and just and victims often go on to become abusers themselves if they do not receive the support that they need. Protecting young boys from sexual violence also means protecting others as it is only through the continued challenging of the culture of violence that we can begin to make the long-term progress that is needed in our homes and communities.
Akola Thompson,
Blue Umbrella Consultant –
ChildLinK
To report or seek counseling, please call 914/227-0979/227-2023/233-3500
