A hard time she had of it. The very dead of winter. Nine months pregnant and not with just any child. She and Joseph had no choice but to ride on a donkey to Bethlehem – a distance from Nazareth of 29.4km according to Google Maps – for some senseless census.
Those Roman occupiers were cruel: no exemptions for a mom-to-be who would only learn later how truly heartless they were….
They arrived late in the evening and there was no room at the inn. Of course there was no Aribnb back then for Joseph to book ahead. So they settled for a stable (at most a 1 star rating) but at this point Mary probably didn’t care. The birth went well by all accounts, no complications. Resting with the child, three strange men wearing funny hats showed up out of the blue claiming to be wise and bearing the most unsuitable gifts, Frankincense? Myrrh? What was myrrh? A year’s supply of pampers would have been far more practical.
Anyway the gold came in handy.
Those supposedly wise men didn’t go straight back home. They went to Jerusalem first (144 km Google Maps) and when Herod the Great heard their gossip he feared a rival to his throne and very unreasonably
“ordered the killing of all male children two years old and under in Bethlehem and its surrounding regions.”(Matthew 2:16-18)
So the young family fled to Egypt – a distance of 855 km, eight days by mule if you bypass Gaza (bad vibes). In exile Mary probably wondered why her? After all, there she had been sitting quietly in the garden minding her own business when suddenly the Angel Gabriel had come down and made some very grandiose claims that despite being a virgin she would soon bear a boy child and he would “reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Mary was understandably “very troubled” and naturally it caused some problems between her and Joseph. But another angel came to him in a dream and assured him that all shall be well.
Eventually Herod died and with him his decree so Mary and Joseph returned to Nazareth and it would appear her boy grew up quite normally and gave her little trouble. One doubts she would have dared discipline him anyway given who his Father was. He worked with his carpenter father and there is nothing to say Mary was disappointed that he did not become a lawyer or a doctor.
However he seems to have been a late bloomer. He was 30, when he met John the Baptist by the River Jordan. Then he just disappeared! Surely Mary suffered those 40 days and 40 nights as only a mother could. Not even a WhatsApp to say “Hey Mom I’m ok. I’m just in the wilderness.”
Was she also concerned how he had put down his tools, grown out his hair and beard and seemed to be living a hippie life with his friends? The gospels are silent on the matter but she must have been proud when he returned and soon after they went together to a wedding in Cana – a distance from Nazareth of 17.2km or 23 minutes by car if you take Route 6400 – when to the host’s shame he ran out of wine. Her son took charge of the situation. He instructed the servants to fill six stone jars with water. He then miraculously transformed the water into “good wine.” (James Suckling 98 points).
It was probably then she realised this young lad was destined for great things! Word would have reached her at home of his wondrous public ministry, the healing of the sick, the Sermon on the Mount, his walking on water…However she probably thought the brightest stars burn shortest and worried he was becoming a bit too popular.
Her fears would have grown when he arrived in Jerusalem riding barefoot on a donkey – “he always knew how to make an entrance!”. The people threw palm leaves in his path and sang his praises. But Jesus was in a fighting mood that week: He “over-turned the tables of the money changers and scatter-ed their coins. He declared, “Take these things away! Do not make my Father’s house a marketplace!” (John 2:16)
This was trouble!
On hearing the news, Mary must have hurried down to the capital from her home (162 km via Route 6) only to hear that Pontius Pilate had washed his hands of her son and he had been sentenced to death. It all happened so quickly! Was she by his side as he carried his crucifix along the Via Dolorosa up to Golgotha?
The Gospels do agree she kept vigil beneath the Cross and she probably witnessed the centurion stabbing her son in the ribs. Yes, it would be the “Blood of Christ” that flowed but it was also of her own beloved son who even in his agony called out to her: “”Woman, behold your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold your mother.” entrusting her to the care of John the Evangelist. (John 19:26-27)
She was there for his burial and for his resurrection – although the tomb being empty must have been a bittersweet moment: He lives but she could never hold him in her arms again.
Little is known about Mary’s later life. Was she serene or did she grieve like any mother who has to bury her son?
In the centuries that followed, Mary would emerge from being a supporting actor to become a star in her own right – venerated above all saints although the belief, started in the centuries after her death, that like her Son she also ascended to Heaven is not universally embraced. It was only accepted as dogma by the Catholic Church in 1950.
Why has she become so famous? The Story of Jesus’ life and his teachings unleashed upon the Western world and elsewhere incredibly powerful narratives about love, forgiveness and redemption that even in our modern secularity still resonate deeply. They are almost in our DNA. They also brought forth an outpouring of the most sublime and breathtaking art, architecture and music. A lot of this depicts Mary – for example Michaelangelo’s stunning sculpture Pieta with her cradling Jesus after he is taken down from the Cross.
Mary’s story has always spoken to the fears and hopes of every mother. while also shaping how we think about all mothers, how we idealise the concept of The Mother. And why we spend ten times more on Mother’s Day than on Father’s Day. Of course flowers once a year are all well and good but this cult of motherhood has placed boundaries, unrealistic expectations and pressures on all women, to live up to certain standards – to conform, to be more like the Blessed Virgin, “ merciful and mild”.
So while we spare a thought for Mary on Jesus’ Birthday, we might also think of all the mothers this Christmas playing their roles, hanging curtains late at night, wrapping presents, preparing the table and doing the washing up.
And if you are her son, just give her a tight hug.
