‘Tis the season of resolutions. For many who have been through this for decades it is a familiar exercise (literally) in annual self delusion as we slip on our sneakers and head out for a New Year jog. Arriving back a bit sooner than one had planned, one’s lungs quite frankly offended by the lack of notification, and a possible transplant-worthy pain in one knee we take a new resolution: not to be so foolish and do any more exercise for the rest of the year other than turning the pages on a good book.
To each his or her own. The most important thing is to have a resolution, any resolution! because you know at that Old Year’s cocktail party you will be asked about it by someone and then like vacation stories be required to stand there looking interested in theirs. So as a useful guide for our readers we have broken them down into three broad categories. Taking up, giving up and doing more.
Most popular in the taking up category is some form of exercise: However it is essential you post many sweaty gym photos for your friends to see, along with captions such as “Day Two Progress” or “Leg Day” with a grimace face. Never mind that come February something will seem to come up each morning to inexplicably hinder your attendance. Hopefully your friends won’t raise the subject and there’s always Ozempic.
Then there is giving up stuff. All very negative. “I’m going gluten free, detoxing my body, I’m stopping eating meat or maybe I will just eat it socially”. Smoking is a favourite although who smokes anymore? It really has gone the way of the top hat. Drinking of course and the tedious Dry January. Surely that is the one month when you most need a drink? And do we really have to read posts about how much better a friend feels having given it up? Do they not know it is a sure fire method to lose those same friends when they realise it was only after a few glasses of wine you stopped being a morose bore and became of good cheer?
Then there is the vapid resolution category. Being “more mindful” although we are not sure what exactly that means. Probably something about being more in the moment and getting off social media which defeats the point of the resolution since it is essential everyone knows how mindful you are.
Being more grateful is a good one. “No I don’t have the latest Gucci bag but at least I don’t have a Michael Kors!” And to all the girls, who are going “to do me” in 2024, We say, go girl! These types of resolutions are good because you can simply renew them through the year without anyone checking if you are not living up to your vows.
And in a way resolutions are not all that bad. They can serve as a temporary reset and in the process of picking one we can assess our boundless flaws and have a little humility.
Perhaps having a resolution centred on pleasure is more fun. Taking up a new sport or hobby, vowing to visit some country. But if one had to choose one resolution perhaps it would be to nap more. This has the considerable advantage over exercise as it simply requires you to lie down. The ideal nap is in the afternoon, circa 2.30 pm to 3 pm and is best in a quiet, cool and dimly lit room with preferably a comfortable chaise lounge or sofa. It is important it not involve a bed or it might last more than one hour and this means you will miss tea time. You might also enter the dreaded danger zone of REM sleep only to wake to the gathering gloom of early evening and that universal feeling of ennui. Nor is it the abominable yuppie power nap. This sleep is simply a refresher meant to both calm and revive one from the exertions of doing as little work as possible in the morning and providing fortification for the evening’s pleasures.
Google Bard provides useful pointers on countries that take the most naps: Spain obviously, Italy, Greece etc. All Mediterranean, mostly mild climates. Highly civilised and with impressively large Debt to GDP ratios. Bard also notes that America is not a napping country since it “has long work hours and a strong hustle culture”. The British with their lingering Protestant work ethic consider napping a sin.
Strangely enough the word comes from Old English: “The earliest known iteration of “nap” appears in Old English as “hnappian,” meaning “to doze, slumber, sleep.” This word likely originated from the Proto-West Germanic hnappōn, with similar connotations of napping or light sleep. It evolved into “Nappen around the 12th century and by the 16th century, “nappen” was shortened to “nap” in modern English, retaining its core meaning of a brief daytime sleep.”
More Google Bard: “Napping can be a valuable tool for managing stress and anxiety, both major risk factors for suicide. A short nap can help restore cognitive function, improve mood, and increase alertness, potentially reducing stress levels and improving mental well-being.” So there you have it, all the mental benefits of exercise without actually doing anything.
In the end whatever your resolution this year, it’s important to remember this: Most things being equal, character is destiny.
So trying to change your life, your health, your relationships, your savings account is not going to work for long unless you first fix what is inside you.
And with that trite piece of advice we think it’s high time for a nap….
