Every facet of today’s society has been infiltrated by these smooth talkers, those gifted-with-the-gab personality types. They sometimes masquerade behind sophisticated job titles that may vary from Public Relations Officer to Media Advisor to Corporate Spokesman/woman to Communications Consultant, or Publicist. How-ever, make no mistake, their sole priority is imparting spin on any news bulletin emanating from, or aimed at, their entity, be it a government department, a large private conglomerate, a charity, or non-governmental organisation. Today, a master spin doctor has become an essential cog in any management team.
At the mention of the word spin, some might be inclined to think of the game of cricket and spin bowling. Master spin bowlers are highly adept at the rather beguiling arts of teasing and deceiving batsmen. Unlike their visibly intimidating counterparts, the powerfully built fast bowlers, spin bowlers are often slight and tend to be friendly in nature and appearance. This meek image often masks a highly competitive streak, an agile mind, quick at perceiving and exploiting weaknesses, along with an uncanny ability to impart prodigious spin on a cricket ball. Their slow, or casual approach to delivery is part of their deception. They are extremely gifted at tying excellent batsmen in knots, whilst bewildering them with an endless array of variations in line, length, height, and pace, and even more so, if the wicket favours the bowlers.
The spin doctors, the bowlers’ off-the-field counterparts, are just as capable of befuddling their targets or sowing seeds of doubt in their minds, regardless of the circumstances. These vocal sleight of hand pitchers are master wordsmiths, capable of selling ice to Eskimoes, who require no prior briefing of developing crises, or potential catastrophes, to commence defusing an escalating situation. They speak with such aplomb and authority, one can easily be convinced that they were just briefed by the person leading the emergency task force at the crisis point.
Most of the time, these spin doctors expend their finest efforts on the truth, treating like it an element with metallic properties, bending and twisting it as though it is ductile. One spin doctor for a previous government favoured long convoluted rhetorical answers to probing questions at press conferences. By the time he had completed the meandering response whilst completely ignoring the original query, he had, more often than not, succeeded in bamboozling everyone in the room, and insulting the intelligence of the lecturers, who had been his tutors during eight-odd years of tertiary education. Others simply resort to wholesale assaults on the credibility of the questioner, or the veracity of the question. The really skilful practitioners of this adroit talent are capable of calmly moderating or conducting an hour-long press conference which resolves nothing, but gives everyone the impression everything is under full control and all the news circulating about whatever the problem is, are rumours not to be taken seriously.
It must be a stressful way to make a living; always sharply attired, constantly smiling, appearing in upbeat spirits at all times, constantly apologising for their superiors, who were either misunderstood or misquoted in their public statements. One can only speculate if after years in the business of bewitching, these image enhancers are capable of discerning truth from fiction within their own minds?
How will history view these spin doctors? These public spokesmen/women proudly deem themselves as professionals, holding allegiances to no one but themselves, and often changing horses mid-jump, most notably, just after elections. Will they be considered semi-propagandists? Embalmers of the truth? Accessories after the facts? Just plain soup drinkers? At the end of the day, are these handsomely compensated dispensers of lies and half-truths really involved in the production of anything of substantial worth or significance?
The best of these spin doctors gravitate to the political arena where they are quite adept at keeping the populace at bay, or swaying their thoughts with their silky, smooth, unfounded promises. Elections are slated for next year, and we can expect these spin doctors to soon start making the rounds, dispensing yarns meant to muddle the mind. Beware of these Rumpelstiltskins and their promises to spin votes into gold, or rather barrels of oil.
