“I still don’t understand why we pressure ourselves in these times. It is like we like punishment, at least that is how I see it. We work ourselves down to a frazzle and then we are just too tired to really enjoy the season.”
The words of a friend with whom I was discussing the Christmas season. Now I am far from being a Grinch. In fact, I would say I love the holidays. But I become extremely tired trying to provide the right Christmas atmosphere and before the holidays (like now) I become very anxious about all that needs (or I want) to be done.
“Sometimes I don’t believe we women like ourselves because we create work for ourselves and then we complain. Well let me put it another way, we sometimes feel pressured into doing so much, like if we don’t do it then we are not real women or something. At least that is how I look at it,” my friend explained.
I have two colleagues, who, once you are around them you cannot forget that Christmas is here. In fact, it does not have to be here for them to be in a merry mood. They share plans and one even shares photographs of various DIY projects she is involved in while preparing for the season. She makes no bones about “Christmas being my time”. Being around them, I am drawn into the mood, well at times.
But sometimes, as my friend indicated, I do feel pressured into doing too much. I recall that even as a child my mother was big on Christmas. We didn’t have much but she did a lot with the little we had. She made mats from scratch and we had to be involved. She sewed the curtains; the house was scrubbed clean. Those were my early childhood days and after I moved away to live with relatives when I got a little older, they were also big on Christmas.
The thing that stuck with me since then is the amount of work involved. It was an entire project. And it seems as if I have continued the tradition, though in recent years I have been trying to wean myself little by little. But I am still doing and it seems as if that is the case for many women as well.
“I already take down me blinds and put up the sheets and the kitchen cupboard scrub,” another friend told me.
That made me jealous because I still have not done any of those things. But I have long since moved away from taking down the curtains and replacing them with sheets. Curtains come down and the new ones go up almost simultaneously. I am patting myself on the back right now, for me that is an achievement.
“Look if we don’t do it, we will feel sad, at least I would. So for me I would do what I can and feel tired but still satisfied when I look around the house. We does be fooling we self sometimes when we say we doing it for the children but really we like it,” my friend said with a laugh.
I am not sure I agree with her (I am smiling as I type that) but maybe she is onto something. I agree that most Guyanese women like a clean and nicely decorated home for the holidays. That is just how it is. We may do it at varying levels but we like it.
“I don’t have small children, is just me and me husband and we does do what we have to do. He does clean and help me and we putting up we blinds, we Christmas tree, buying we grapes and apples just like everybody else,” another friend said when I asked her about preparing for the season.
“Since I growing up, Christmas is a big time and this thing leave with me. I have to really sick or something to not do it and so far it never happen. Once I home my house decorating for the season,” she continued.
I didn’t tell her but I felt to myself I would not have gone all the way if I didn’t have young children. At least that is what I am telling myself, ask me in another few years’ time when they really don’t have time for that whether I dress the house or not.
I know I have said it before but let’s self-care during this period. Let’s not overdo it because we will really be killing ourselves figuratively if we are not careful. COVID-19 did a number on all of us last year and this year and we might just want to go all out this year as we try to get back some semblance of normalcy, but from a sister to my sisters just remember you need to take care of you.
You may never be able to complete all you had set out in your mind to do, but do what you can and leave the remainder for another time. Please ensure that you take some time for yourself and that you get adequate rest especially if you are going on vacation during this period.
And as a woman of faith I must ask that you remember the reason for the season. Jesus Christ was born to be that perfect example for us and later died on the cross for our sins. Give a little this season and be kind; as we celebrate, remember why we have this season called Christmas.
Wishing you all a very wonderful holiday as we celebrate with our families and friends. And a happy and prosperous New Year as well.
NB: This is the last column of Women’s Chronicles for the year 2021. The next piece will be published on Sunday, January 15, 2022.
