“All I want is for my children to grow up to be God-fearing, well-adjusted, productive citizens of this society. As a mother that is my greatest wish and dream and for me that would be my life’s accomplishment,” a sister said about her two sons.
“Sometimes I just wish she would do more and see that life is more. Like I would have done so much for her to ensure that she do something with her life and it is like all failure,” another sister lamented of her daughter.
Tears fell after that statement. Me? I had no words but to just give a hug; what do I say in these circumstances?
‘I don’t know if I can take it anymore and I know one day I would just walk out and go and find somewhere else for me and my children. I have tried enough,” this woman said these words forcefully. After years of marriage, they had been uttered many times before and days later she and husband were back on terms. They will likely be uttered at another time. But hey, who am I to judge?
“I believe I am on the verge of a mental breakdown.” This sister made me stop what I was doing and give her my undivided attention.
In the end it boiled down to her just having a difficult time managing all aspects of her life. It was a lot and even I felt overwhelmed just listening to all she was doing but she is strong. In the end I concluded she just wanted someone to listen and she is marching forward like a champion.
“I am so happy to be working again. It was good being at home but now I am back to work I feel so happy,” this was said with such a smile that I couldn’t help but smile too.
“Things are happening for me, man. I think this is my year (let’s hope it is Guyana Amazon Warriors years as well lol) and I feel like I am on the right path. I have not felt this way in ages and I am comfortable with who I am and where I am in this life,” this sister’s confident and satisfied statement even gave me a boost for the rest of my week.
“There comes a time in this life when you just have to say enough is enough. Like when do we really realise that a person is not adding anything to your life and that you feel drained whenever you are around them? It might sound harsh but that is how I see it, as you get older you have to start taking care of that inner you more and protect your space.”
I’m not sure I agree with the statement fully, but I got where she was coming from. Is it selfish to put you first? What effect would the ‘cutting off’ have on the individual? Would we feel responsible if their lives got worse? I don’t know the answers, but in the end we all have to do what we have to do to survive.
“Sometimes I do feel like I have never gotten a break. Like every time I think this is it, something else comes up and crush it and I do ask God why me at times. But then I try to look at what I have to be grateful for and I try. But my day has not come yet, I hope it does soon until then I will keep pressing.”
She sounded so sad and I do agree that she has been having the bitter end of the stick for too long. But her resilience is evident and I do believe/hope her day is coming soon. If ever someone deserves it, it is her.
“He has taken to his new school like fish to water. I was so worried but now I am happy where he is and I am so very proud of him. It is like he has just gone forward and taken ownership. How can I as a mother not be super proud?” This sister had an ear-to-ear grin and the pure joy of the moment was felt.
“I am learning new things about myself. It is strange to explain but I am at this point of my life where it is like I am discovering who I am and to tell you the truth I like it. I am not waiting on anyone to tell me I will look and find. I am a fine piece of work.”
I love this statement. How many times have you described yourself as “a fine piece of work”? Say it with me “I am a fine piece of work”. I am taking that with me for a long time my sister, thanks for that statement.
“If I was not a strong believer in God I don’t know where I would have been today. I do understand how some people feel like there is no tomorrow but because I know God, I know once there is life there is tomorrow. This life can be so hard and people can be so cruel but live we must until it is our time. So, when it is too much I pray and ask for strength to take one day at a time, one step at a time or even one moment at a time.”
A coping statement. At times we all need to carve ours because we all will face difficult days. As a woman of faith I also find great strength in my belief in God.
“I am not taking stress anymore. Before I would have been so stressed out over him and not eating and all that. I am not getting divorce, at least not from what I see now, so I have zoned out certain things when it comes to him. If not I may go mad and mad I am not going. I have my children and that is where I put my energies.”
Not the best solution but hey the sister needs a stop gap right now and she is coping the best way she can. The children will grow up and leave, we know. I just hope by then she is not tired and drained but they would have worked it out to a point where they co-exist in a happy and meaningful relationship.
“We really need to go out and have fun, we just work and work and like we not doing anything for recreation. We will have lunch or something soon but it is just, at least I feel so tired when I get home. But life is too short. We have to do something.”
I believe she meant what she said. It has not happened yet but once there is life there is hope.
The above are all snippets of recent conversations I had with various women. This week has been particularly difficult for me and I struggled. I really wanted to write something uplifting but felt there really was nothing, until I contemplated these conversations. Pride, frustration, sorrow, joy; these snippets bring to the fore the myriad emotions so many of us experience every day. Many of us have found coping mechanisms even though fear and anxiety do trouble us from time to time.
Some have not. A woman and man in their thirties were recently added to the growing number of suicides in this country. Why? How? Was there no one to help? Are all questions I am sure we asked when we heard they felt they had no other option but to take their own lives. They left children behind, in the case of the sister, her only child reportedly discovered her body. I hope he gets the help he needs; the help she obviously didn’t get.
This life is not easy. It is easier for some. Some need friends and family to invest some real time in them. If you can, be that family member or friend. Be kind if you can’t be anything else. And take the joys as they come, they will come just keep pressing on.
If you are experiencing depression or feeling suicidal, please call the Mental Health Unit on 223-0001 or 223-0009. You can also call or text 623-4444 or 600-7892. A 24/7 toll free ‘Safe Space’ number 655-7233 was launched recently as a collaboration between the Guyana Telephone and Telegraph Company and the Pan American Health Organization. It aims to provide access to support for people who are unable to have face-to-face interactions.
