Dear Editor,
I was prepared to expect reverse culture shock. I never would’ve imagined returning home after living abroad as so refreshing and well, fun. What happened to the person, aka me, who was running away from a supposedly unhappy existence? What changed? Is it the place or me who sees things differently? It’s been a process of adjustment, understanding reverse culture shock, and remembering that repatriation isn’t easy. Each day is an adjustment, but I’m happier each day.
This story outlines how I returned and how I’m handling home after years of living abroad. I’ve thought many years about moving back to Guyana. That’s why the topic of repatriation will always be close to my heart. I love to hear the repatriation stories of others. It is so interesting what they experience, what they struggle with and what they find out about themselves moving back home. That’s why I have decided to write my story down. Since the beginning of time people have moved from country to country. Every military veteran had to repatriate after their assignments, sometimes bringing their visions and dreams of the war with them, adding to the stress of life back on home soil. Repatriation as a concept dates back to the beginning of time.
Ruth van Reken, co-author of Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing up among Worlds, states that “every transition involves loss… even when there is gain.” Coming home was difficult. “More people find coming home to be a more difficult transition than going abroad,” writes Alan Paul, author of Expat Life in the Wall Street Journal.
One of my biggest issues with returning home proved to be the realization that day-to-day life just wasn’t quite as exciting as life in America. Once all of our eggs are in a row, what will we do with all of our free time? I spent two years visiting the jungle and discovering all Guyana had to offer. I’ll always miss America. I will always be thankful for the opportunity to live there. I’ll always appreciate the knowledge and wisdom I gained from the experience. I ended the adventure with a lack of regret and an understanding that you only grieve for something you loved. I’ll be back, for vacation or and medical care. Until then, I feel content and comfortable in my own skin, no matter where I am.
Editor, countless times I have been asked why I repatriated to Guyana. I would like to say it is because of the countless opportunities to make money in Guyana but that wouldn’t be true. I am satisfied with the money I have made. I would like to say it’s because of the warm weather but that wouldn’t be true. I came from Florida (the sunshine state. I would like to say it’s because of the slower pace of life but that wouldn’t be true. I lived in the countryside of Florida which has a slower pace of living than the big city. I would like to say it’s because of the friendly people but that wouldn’t be true. I would like to say that it’s because I was born here but that wouldn’t be true. I would like to say it’s because I am patriotic but that wouldn’t be true. I would like to say it’s because I spent my formative years growing up in Guyana but that wouldn’t be true. I would like to say that it’s because I love my country but that wouldn’t be true. I would like to say that it’s because I couldn’t find any country better to live in than Guyana but that wouldn’t be true. Why did I repatriate to Guyana?
I repatriated to Guyana because I see there’s a greater need for my service here than anywhere. In Guyana more people need my help. Guyana needs more unpaid volunteers. Guyana is going through a moral, economical and spiritual crisis. Guyana has lots of problems and needy people. Guyana has lots of starvation and lots of broken and wounded people. Guyana has lots of hopelessness and hopeless people. Guyana has lots of struggling and poor people. Life in Guyana is one big struggle. Simply put, I came to Guyana because I want to help and to make a difference. One of the benefits of living in Guyana is the memories it brings back from my early days of growing up here. Every day I drive past the primary and secondary school I attended here. I see houses I lived in and streets I walked on as a child. I see friends I went to primary schools with. I see the cemetery where my father is buried. I hear music I grew up listening to. I eat food I grew up eating. I don’t think there’s in place in the world that I can live that would bring back so many sweet moments and memories. For this reason I love living in Guyana.
Editor, by nature I am a reflective, contemplative and introspective person. Living here helps me to be more contemplative and introspective. It takes me back to thoughts and memories I had long forgotten. The things that are too painful to remember, I chose to forget but it’s the laughter that I remember. Living here reminds me of some not so pleasant memories of my childhood. Memories that are too painful to remember. Memories of being treated badly by some teachers. Memories of going to school hungry and dropping out of secondary school. Memories of being bullied and being shamed at school. Memories of growing up in one of the most violent villages (Albouystown) in Guyana. Memories of growing up in a broken home and without a father. Memories of feelings lesser than other people and memories of feelings hopeless and helpless.
Editor, living in Guyana has been a bitter sweet experience. The bitterness is remembering the bad childhood memories. The sweet is being able to see how far I have come. I have overcome the odds, against all odds. I’m a survivor because I have survived. I have fostered a better life for myself. I have made it professionally and personally despite the disadvantages of growing up poor and disadvantaged. Repatriating to Guyana has been a good and bad experience. I still believe I made the right decision and I would encourage others to do the same. The time in America was extraordinary and wonderful and I do not regret a thing.
Sincerely,
Anthony Pantlitz
