Some will say he was controversial. Some will condemn him because they did not agree with his lifestyle. Some will choose to remember him as an educator while some will fondly reflect on the memories of seeing him on stage.
The murder of popular Deputy Headteacher, actor, and comedian Kirwyn Mars also known as Sir Mars has highlighted again how violent we are as a society. Our people seem to hate each other more than the system of oppression that stagnates, separates, and frustrates us. When we look at each other we should seek the good first. We should recognize our common struggles and work as a collective to heal from the traumas that have made many of us cold and cruel. But often it seems that when we look at each other, we focus more on the imperfections and that which annoys or angers us. The more we kill each other, the weaker we are as a collective. The more we hate each other, the more vulnerable we are to the grasp of outsiders and at risk of eventually becoming a minority in our country.
We have a history in Guyana of men killing men in instances of intimate partner violence. My first memory of such a killing was when I was in primary school in the early 90s. The man was a shopkeeper and was found brutally murdered in his house.
In 2012 the theatre community lost another actor, Bert Whyte, who was murdered by Clive Knights who is now serving time in prison. Knights and Whyte were friends, but Knights claimed that he was the target of unwanted sexual advances from Whyte and so resorted to killing him.
In 2014 Carlyle Sinclair known as Tyra and Jason Samuels known as Jada who identified as transwomen were murdered by Samuel Bristol who then took his own life. Samuel’s lover wanted to end their five-year relationship and when Samuel was looking for his partner and could not find them, he resorted to killing his partner’s friends.
The murders of women by their partners are of course more common in Guyana. It was a week ago when another woman, Kim Halley was found stabbed to death in a hotel. Her husband has since reportedly confessed to the murder.
A 2019 UN Women report stated that one in every two women in Guyana experience intimate partner violence and at least 55 percent of Guyanese women experience at least one form of violence. Even though it is more women who are harmed in intimate partner violence, the instances of men killing their male partners is also cause for concern.
The brutality in most of these crimes suggests that often there is not only an intense hate for the murdered, but the killers also hate themselves. It may be assumed that in some instances it is a struggle with their identity. We know that in our society there are those who are loud and homophobic but are in fact struggling with their own sexuality. Perhaps feeling the pressures for often being seen as outcasts in society. It reminds us that as a society we should be more tolerant. How can we not be when we consider the struggles of each other? How can we accept that to hate, to hurt and to kill is the answer? Whether we are religious, agnostic or atheist, we should open our hearts to understanding more than condemning. Even though we may not agree with another person’s lifestyle if they are not creating harm in our society and are living a life that makes them happy, the least we can do is respect them. Hate only causes more pain and angst in our society. While there are those who believe that they are qualified to condemn and call for the extermination of certain groups, when we examine our lives none of us are irreproachable.
As a collective we should denounce and work to change the prevalence of violence in our society. It is not just that murders are common in Guyana, but as aforementioned it is also the brutality with which many people are killed. Kirwyn Mars was not only stabbed eight times but was also run over by his car. Kim Halley was stabbed thirteen times and her throat was also slashed.
As I would have written several times before, to begin to curb the violence in our country, we must start with the way we treat our children. We cannot continue to raise children with violence, by constantly beating them and expect that they would not think violence to be the normal way of life. Yes, we must discipline our children when they err, but the attachment we have to the rod as the ultimate form of discipline continues to show itself as detrimental to the society when hurt children become angry and violent adults.
I have a few memories of Sir Mars. I think he was a good actor. I was not a fan of his comedy, but he had his many fans who enjoyed it. One instance I recall is something he said that I always thought of whenever I saw him. He was talking about his lifestyle and the fact that people are quick to judge and condemn men like him. He said that many of the struggles men like him endure are not seen and that people do not know how many prayers some of them pray to change. There was a sadness in his voice when he said this, and I could feel nothing but compassion in that moment.
The road many people in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community walk is a road many of us will never know. In Guyana there often seems to be more hate for the LGBT community, than outrage for the many instances of child sexual abuse, rape and other criminal offences that permanently damage our people.
The last time I saw Sir Mars was earlier this year at the Kingston Seawall. He was sitting with friends, having a drink and we greeted each other. Little did I know that that was the last time I would see the man who spoke about praying to change.
Some will say he was controversial. Some will condemn him because they did not agree with his lifestyle. Some will choose to remember him as an educator while some will fondly reflect on the memories of seeing him on stage.
The murder of popular Deputy Headteacher, actor, and comedian Kirwyn Mars also known as Sir Mars has highlighted again how violent we are as a society. Our people seem to hate each other more than the system of oppression that stagnates, separates, and frustrates us. When we look at each other we should seek the good first. We should recognize our common struggles and work as a collective to heal from the traumas that have made many of us cold and cruel. But often it seems that when we look at each other, we focus more on the imperfections and that which annoys or angers us. The more we kill each other, the weaker we are as a collective. The more we hate each other, the more vulnerable we are to the grasp of outsiders and at risk of eventually becoming a minority in our country.
We have a history in Guyana of men killing men in instances of intimate partner violence. My first memory of such a killing was when I was in primary school in the early 90s. The man was a shopkeeper and was found brutally murdered in his house.
In 2012 the theatre community lost another actor, Bert Whyte, who was murdered by Clive Knights who is now serving time in prison. Knights and Whyte were friends, but Knights claimed that he was the target of unwanted sexual advances from Whyte and so resorted to killing him.
In 2014 Carlyle Sinclair known as Tyra and Jason Samuels known as Jada who identified as transwomen were murdered by Samuel Bristol who then took his own life. Samuel’s lover wanted to end their five-year relationship and when Samuel was looking for his partner and could not find them, he resorted to killing his partner’s friends.
The murders of women by their partners are of course more common in Guyana. It was a week ago when another woman, Kim Halley was found stabbed to death in a hotel. Her husband has since reportedly confessed to the murder.
A 2019 UN Women report stated that one in every two women in Guyana experience intimate partner violence and at least 55 percent of Guyanese women experience at least one form of violence. Even though it is more women who are harmed in intimate partner violence, the instances of men killing their male partners is also cause for concern.
The brutality in most of these crimes suggests that often there is not only an intense hate for the murdered, but the killers also hate themselves. It may be assumed that in some instances it is a struggle with their identity. We know that in our society there are those who are loud and homophobic but are in fact struggling with their own sexuality. Perhaps feeling the pressures for often being seen as outcasts in society. It reminds us that as a society we should be more tolerant. How can we not be when we consider the struggles of each other? How can we accept that to hate, to hurt and to kill is the answer? Whether we are religious, agnostic or atheist, we should open our hearts to understanding more than condemning. Even though we may not agree with another person’s lifestyle if they are not creating harm in our society and are living a life that makes them happy, the least we can do is respect them. Hate only causes more pain and angst in our society. While there are those who believe that they are qualified to condemn and call for the extermination of certain groups, when we examine our lives none of us are irreproachable.
As a collective we should denounce and work to change the prevalence of violence in our society. It is not just that murders are common in Guyana, but as aforementioned it is also the brutality with which many people are killed. Kirwyn Mars was not only stabbed eight times but was also run over by his car. Kim Halley was stabbed thirteen times and her throat was also slashed.
As I would have written several times before, to begin to curb the violence in our country, we must start with the way we treat our children. We cannot continue to raise children with violence, by constantly beating them and expect that they would not think violence to be the normal way of life. Yes, we must discipline our children when they err, but the attachment we have to the rod as the ultimate form of discipline continues to show itself as detrimental to the society when hurt children become angry and violent adults.
I have a few memories of Sir Mars. I think he was a good actor. I was not a fan of his comedy, but he had his many fans who enjoyed it. One instance I recall is something he said that I always thought of whenever I saw him. He was talking about his lifestyle and the fact that people are quick to judge and condemn men like him. He said that many of the struggles men like him endure are not seen and that people do not know how many prayers some of them pray to change. There was a sadness in his voice when he said this, and I could feel nothing but compassion in that moment.
The road many people in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community walk is a road many of us will never know. In Guyana there often seems to be more hate for the LGBT community, than outrage for the many instances of child sexual abuse, rape and other criminal offences that permanently damage our people.
The last time I saw Sir Mars was earlier this year at the Kingston Seawall. He was sitting with friends, having a drink and we greeted each other. Little did I know that that was the last time I would see the man who spoke about praying to change.
